My MLS predicts back in March were not too bad.
I did correctly guess the Eastern Conference spots 2-5 in the right order. But I blew the top spot and the dead last spot (Columbus, who were the best in the entire league).
I got top in the West right, but nothing else, besides Gullitt being out of LA before December.
Interesting note:
Back then, I picked a Houston-Chicago MLS Cup as I did tonight, but guessed Houston would win.
We'll see.
Be Seeing You.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Five Women I'd Bang in Heaven
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Absolutely in love with Jesse Sykes' "Reckless Burning". What a great song. Also rocking out to some great covers of "Bastards of Young" and "Common People" (by the inimitable William Shatner; my man Shat).
WHAT I'M READING: With the release of the fourth book in his Bush series, I have decided to re-read the entire series by Bob Woodward. Great, unbiased journalism.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Still the X-Files. Still soccer (playoffs start tomorrow!). Also watching the 34 films I've picked as the best of the last 34 years; up to 1977's Star Wars.
OKAY, so my beautiful wife Barefoot Adult and I had this challenge back in January to name our list of five possible sexual conquests. Now we have decided to review and renew our lists. So here goes mine.
If the opportunity ever arises, these are the five women I am allowed to sleep with by my wife.
In no real order:
5. Rachel Ray.
I think she was an alternate on last year's list. Yes, she is an attractive woman. But when I see Ray in her kitchen, cooking up some edibles, I get the image that this is a woman who knows what to do not just in the kitchen, but in bed also. She could work a man's tool like a spatula working an omelet. I just believe this woman could make my legs buckle with some sexual adventures.
4. Leighton Meester
My wife enjoys the Gossip Girl. I enjoy Miss Meester. Again, she is pretty. But I can also imagine her enjoying playtime in bed. Maybe it's just the headbands. I dunno. But she'd be fun, me thinks.
3. Kate Winslet
She always makes the list. Again, I just enjoy Kate. She's attractive, funny, smart, has the accent, and doesn't diet herself to death. Kate would take charge and lead me into an eternal sunshine.
2. Olivia Wilde
She of "House". Attractive with a hint of danger to her. Me likey Thirteen. My wife says she's a bi-sexual character. Interesting.
1. Jewel
I believe she was on here last year too. Just gorgeous, with a spunky persona about her. She's a wild poet from Alaska. Plus, if you saw her second album, there is a photo where she appears to be wiping her chin, like she just blew a guy before the photo was snapped. And she looks like she likes what it looks like she did (?).
These are women that I am allowed to sleep with. Now, a list of women I'd want to date long-term might be different (such as a Zoey Deschannel), but this is the sex list.
MLS PLAYOFFS
Start tomorrow. Should be good, though my beloved DC United are not involved. No more on that. Eight teams will compete for the right to play four more games and lift the gorgeous new MLS Cup trophy (named after Phil Anschultz, soccer's savior in America). Here are my predicts.
EASTERN CONFERENCE:
#1 Columbus Crew over #4 Kansas City Wizards
Will be tight, and a very good series me thinks. But the Crew should win.
#2 Chicago Fire over #3 New England Revolution
Three straight years the Revs have knocked the Fire out of the playoffs. Three straight years the Revs have been in MLS Cup. Six straight years the Revs have been in the Eastern Conference final. This year it should end. The Fire are dangerous and the Revs have a slew of injuries.
Final
#2 Chicago Fire over #1 Columbus Crew
Though the Crew won the Supporters Shield and 17 games out of 30, I can't see them getting to the MLS Cup. The Fire are tough and the Crew are very young. Should be a great game, but I think Blanco, McBride & Co. will win it.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Houston Dynamo over #4 New York Red Bulls
I see no way that New York wins this series. Houston are tough, have won the MLS title two straight years, and the Red Bulls are inconsistent at best.
#2 Club Deportivo Chivas USA over #3 Real Salt Lake
I'm going with Chivas here, but RSL could pull it out. There is always one upset in the opening round, and this has the best shot at it. Should be a fun one. May even need extra-time in the second leg to decide it.
Final
#1 Houston Dynamo over #2 Club Deportivo Chivas USA
The Dynamo are just too tough. Depth, talent, and a consistent lineup for about four years now. Should be an easy win here.
MLS CUP 2008
Chicago Fire over Houston Dynamo
I'm hoping here, because nobody has ever won three straight titles. DC United came close, winning the first two MLS Cups before losing to the Fire in 1998's final. DC would win title three the following year. But I digress. It's time for new blood up top. Chicago has a solid team with an attacking mindset. This would be one helluva good final, but I just don't think Houston can threepeat.
I hope not.
That's all I got. I'll have to look back at my pre-season picks to see how close I was (probably not very).
One last note, don't forget to vote next week. And if you do vote, vote Obama. We need him.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: With the release of the fourth book in his Bush series, I have decided to re-read the entire series by Bob Woodward. Great, unbiased journalism.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Still the X-Files. Still soccer (playoffs start tomorrow!). Also watching the 34 films I've picked as the best of the last 34 years; up to 1977's Star Wars.
OKAY, so my beautiful wife Barefoot Adult and I had this challenge back in January to name our list of five possible sexual conquests. Now we have decided to review and renew our lists. So here goes mine.
If the opportunity ever arises, these are the five women I am allowed to sleep with by my wife.
In no real order:
5. Rachel Ray.
I think she was an alternate on last year's list. Yes, she is an attractive woman. But when I see Ray in her kitchen, cooking up some edibles, I get the image that this is a woman who knows what to do not just in the kitchen, but in bed also. She could work a man's tool like a spatula working an omelet. I just believe this woman could make my legs buckle with some sexual adventures.
4. Leighton Meester
My wife enjoys the Gossip Girl. I enjoy Miss Meester. Again, she is pretty. But I can also imagine her enjoying playtime in bed. Maybe it's just the headbands. I dunno. But she'd be fun, me thinks.
3. Kate Winslet
She always makes the list. Again, I just enjoy Kate. She's attractive, funny, smart, has the accent, and doesn't diet herself to death. Kate would take charge and lead me into an eternal sunshine.
2. Olivia Wilde
She of "House". Attractive with a hint of danger to her. Me likey Thirteen. My wife says she's a bi-sexual character. Interesting.
1. Jewel
I believe she was on here last year too. Just gorgeous, with a spunky persona about her. She's a wild poet from Alaska. Plus, if you saw her second album, there is a photo where she appears to be wiping her chin, like she just blew a guy before the photo was snapped. And she looks like she likes what it looks like she did (?).
These are women that I am allowed to sleep with. Now, a list of women I'd want to date long-term might be different (such as a Zoey Deschannel), but this is the sex list.
MLS PLAYOFFS
Start tomorrow. Should be good, though my beloved DC United are not involved. No more on that. Eight teams will compete for the right to play four more games and lift the gorgeous new MLS Cup trophy (named after Phil Anschultz, soccer's savior in America). Here are my predicts.
EASTERN CONFERENCE:
#1 Columbus Crew over #4 Kansas City Wizards
Will be tight, and a very good series me thinks. But the Crew should win.
#2 Chicago Fire over #3 New England Revolution
Three straight years the Revs have knocked the Fire out of the playoffs. Three straight years the Revs have been in MLS Cup. Six straight years the Revs have been in the Eastern Conference final. This year it should end. The Fire are dangerous and the Revs have a slew of injuries.
Final
#2 Chicago Fire over #1 Columbus Crew
Though the Crew won the Supporters Shield and 17 games out of 30, I can't see them getting to the MLS Cup. The Fire are tough and the Crew are very young. Should be a great game, but I think Blanco, McBride & Co. will win it.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
#1 Houston Dynamo over #4 New York Red Bulls
I see no way that New York wins this series. Houston are tough, have won the MLS title two straight years, and the Red Bulls are inconsistent at best.
#2 Club Deportivo Chivas USA over #3 Real Salt Lake
I'm going with Chivas here, but RSL could pull it out. There is always one upset in the opening round, and this has the best shot at it. Should be a fun one. May even need extra-time in the second leg to decide it.
Final
#1 Houston Dynamo over #2 Club Deportivo Chivas USA
The Dynamo are just too tough. Depth, talent, and a consistent lineup for about four years now. Should be an easy win here.
MLS CUP 2008
Chicago Fire over Houston Dynamo
I'm hoping here, because nobody has ever won three straight titles. DC United came close, winning the first two MLS Cups before losing to the Fire in 1998's final. DC would win title three the following year. But I digress. It's time for new blood up top. Chicago has a solid team with an attacking mindset. This would be one helluva good final, but I just don't think Houston can threepeat.
I hope not.
That's all I got. I'll have to look back at my pre-season picks to see how close I was (probably not very).
One last note, don't forget to vote next week. And if you do vote, vote Obama. We need him.
Be Seeing You.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
TV's Best
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A bunch of different things, but today I was really enjoying Martha Wainwright's "Bloody Motherfucking Asshole".
WHAT I'M READING: Trying to finish "The Wrecking Crew" by Thomas Franks. Interesting.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: We finally got to watch the season premiere of "The Office" tonight, which was funny. Still working through the James Bond collection.
SO I made the challenge to my wife, Barefoot Adult, to blog about her five favorite TV shows currently on TV. I mean shows that are still producing new material. My friend Adam started the thought in my head when he blurted out his five favorite shows one day when I was working his store. My wife and I enjoy the tube. She has many more programs she watches then I (I tend to go in more for TV on DVD myself), so I knew it would be hard for her to narrow it down. For me, it's almost tough to find five shows still running that I enjoy enough to make the list.
But here it goes:
5. Robot Chicken. It's very short, but rarely fails to deliver mucho laughs. Sick humor at times, immature at others, but funny is funny. If you've never seen what they do with the manger scene, hunt it down. Easy to sit through since it's quick, and it makes me laugh hard.
4. How I Met Your Mother. I don't watch it often on my own, usually just catching it while my wife watches it. But I do like it. The characters are endearing but also make me laugh. I especially enjoy Neil Patrick Harris as Barney. Again, another show that rarely fails to make me laugh.
3. The Ultimate Fighter. Spike TV's reality show done in conjunction with the UFC entertains. I get a strange kick out of these grown men behaving like idiots once they are put in this house. You are given a shot of a lifetime in the career you've chosen, and they still, season after season, drink too much and destroy the house. I like that I can never call the winner ahead of time. Keeps me guessing. I get a big kick out of UFC President Dana White. Here's the head of the company in one of the world's fastest growing sports, and the guy cannot, if his life depended on it, got three sentences without dropping the F-bomb. Even in tender moments, such as having to tell a fighter that his dream is over and he's off the show due to an injury, Dana sits there in "comforting father-figure mode", and still can't help but drop a few F-bombs. It's hilarious. Imagine if your company's boss constantly cursed in a meeting. One of the few shows I can never miss.
2. The Office. Yes, I still like the British version better (same as with the Brit version of football), but this is the finest show on network TV today. I'm not such a big fan of Steve Carrell's work here. He's very good at what he's trying to do, but I just find the Scott character so over the top bad as a boss that I cannot see how he wouldn't get axed. That's why the Brit version wins for me. Six episodes in season one, another six in season two, and Gervais's boss did get let go for his incompetence. Scott still having a job kinda takes me out of the show at times. But the supporting cast is great. We love Jim and Pam, but all the others are top shelf too. Barefoot Adult loves her some Creed. It's that office staff that keeps me coming back and loving the show. I just wonder when this documentary they're filming will ever be shown.
1. Football Matters. I left my soccer off the list here because the games are not technically TV shows for me. Yes, soccer would be my entire top five if I just chose games, but this is a list of TV programs. In that case, this is the best show on the planet for me. It's on Setanta Sports every Monday night for 90 minutes. It's a simple show. James Richardson and Rebecca Lowe host in front of a studio audience of footie fans representing each team in the English Premier League. Every week, they are joined by three "experts". The experts range from former refs to retired players to current or former managers. They simply discuss the past weekend's footie action from England's top flight, with some side jaunts here and there onto other football topics. It originates in England. I just love this show. I get a kick out of Richardson's slight humor and toss-off puns. This past week one of the guests was marveling at how once in a scrabble game, he had the right letters to spell out "Tottenham", the name of a club. Without a seconds pause, Richardson added "Of course you only got two points for that". Now, if you don't know your English footie, it's meaningless. But if you know that right now Tottenham are bottom of the league with only two points out of the first seven games, it's hilarious. Even more so because they always cut to the fans in the studio of whatever club he's just jabbed at. Add in Rebecca Lowe, who at first glance isn't much to look at. But week after week, she's gained hotness in my eyes. A large part is due to her accent and her knowledge (and love) of football. Now she's like a English Sex Goddess to me. Plus they always have her scrambling into the studio audience to ask the fans questions. I enjoy that she never just lets them answer, but always challenges what they've stated.
Add to that the fact that every now and then she tosses out a "blimey", and I'm in TV studio hostess love.
Most people would probably not care much for the show. My wife only likes it because she too has a thing for the accents. But I absolutely love this program. It's my favorite, and Monday's would not be the same without it.
Football Matters. Mondays at 9:30 pm on Setanta Sports. Check it out.
So there's my list. Ball's in your court, Barefoot Adult.
Challenge!
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Trying to finish "The Wrecking Crew" by Thomas Franks. Interesting.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: We finally got to watch the season premiere of "The Office" tonight, which was funny. Still working through the James Bond collection.
SO I made the challenge to my wife, Barefoot Adult, to blog about her five favorite TV shows currently on TV. I mean shows that are still producing new material. My friend Adam started the thought in my head when he blurted out his five favorite shows one day when I was working his store. My wife and I enjoy the tube. She has many more programs she watches then I (I tend to go in more for TV on DVD myself), so I knew it would be hard for her to narrow it down. For me, it's almost tough to find five shows still running that I enjoy enough to make the list.
But here it goes:
5. Robot Chicken. It's very short, but rarely fails to deliver mucho laughs. Sick humor at times, immature at others, but funny is funny. If you've never seen what they do with the manger scene, hunt it down. Easy to sit through since it's quick, and it makes me laugh hard.
4. How I Met Your Mother. I don't watch it often on my own, usually just catching it while my wife watches it. But I do like it. The characters are endearing but also make me laugh. I especially enjoy Neil Patrick Harris as Barney. Again, another show that rarely fails to make me laugh.
3. The Ultimate Fighter. Spike TV's reality show done in conjunction with the UFC entertains. I get a strange kick out of these grown men behaving like idiots once they are put in this house. You are given a shot of a lifetime in the career you've chosen, and they still, season after season, drink too much and destroy the house. I like that I can never call the winner ahead of time. Keeps me guessing. I get a big kick out of UFC President Dana White. Here's the head of the company in one of the world's fastest growing sports, and the guy cannot, if his life depended on it, got three sentences without dropping the F-bomb. Even in tender moments, such as having to tell a fighter that his dream is over and he's off the show due to an injury, Dana sits there in "comforting father-figure mode", and still can't help but drop a few F-bombs. It's hilarious. Imagine if your company's boss constantly cursed in a meeting. One of the few shows I can never miss.
2. The Office. Yes, I still like the British version better (same as with the Brit version of football), but this is the finest show on network TV today. I'm not such a big fan of Steve Carrell's work here. He's very good at what he's trying to do, but I just find the Scott character so over the top bad as a boss that I cannot see how he wouldn't get axed. That's why the Brit version wins for me. Six episodes in season one, another six in season two, and Gervais's boss did get let go for his incompetence. Scott still having a job kinda takes me out of the show at times. But the supporting cast is great. We love Jim and Pam, but all the others are top shelf too. Barefoot Adult loves her some Creed. It's that office staff that keeps me coming back and loving the show. I just wonder when this documentary they're filming will ever be shown.
1. Football Matters. I left my soccer off the list here because the games are not technically TV shows for me. Yes, soccer would be my entire top five if I just chose games, but this is a list of TV programs. In that case, this is the best show on the planet for me. It's on Setanta Sports every Monday night for 90 minutes. It's a simple show. James Richardson and Rebecca Lowe host in front of a studio audience of footie fans representing each team in the English Premier League. Every week, they are joined by three "experts". The experts range from former refs to retired players to current or former managers. They simply discuss the past weekend's footie action from England's top flight, with some side jaunts here and there onto other football topics. It originates in England. I just love this show. I get a kick out of Richardson's slight humor and toss-off puns. This past week one of the guests was marveling at how once in a scrabble game, he had the right letters to spell out "Tottenham", the name of a club. Without a seconds pause, Richardson added "Of course you only got two points for that". Now, if you don't know your English footie, it's meaningless. But if you know that right now Tottenham are bottom of the league with only two points out of the first seven games, it's hilarious. Even more so because they always cut to the fans in the studio of whatever club he's just jabbed at. Add in Rebecca Lowe, who at first glance isn't much to look at. But week after week, she's gained hotness in my eyes. A large part is due to her accent and her knowledge (and love) of football. Now she's like a English Sex Goddess to me. Plus they always have her scrambling into the studio audience to ask the fans questions. I enjoy that she never just lets them answer, but always challenges what they've stated.
Add to that the fact that every now and then she tosses out a "blimey", and I'm in TV studio hostess love.
Most people would probably not care much for the show. My wife only likes it because she too has a thing for the accents. But I absolutely love this program. It's my favorite, and Monday's would not be the same without it.
Football Matters. Mondays at 9:30 pm on Setanta Sports. Check it out.
So there's my list. Ball's in your court, Barefoot Adult.
Challenge!
Be Seeing You.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
End of a Saga, Beginning of a Dynasty
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Some "Willy Wonka" soundtrack that the boy picked out at the library.
WHAT I'M READING: Just finished a multitude of soccer magazines. Plus still working through some Frank books.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Well, soccer. Duh. Plus more, which is hinted at in the above title and will be explained below in the body of the post.
SO after many weeks and billions of questions, the boy and I finished the Star Wars SAGA. He enjoyed it, though he missed 95% of the dialogue because he was peppering me with questions along the lines of "Why doesn't the Emperor have a child?" (which in Jude speak tends to come out as "Empirate") or "Where's Han Solo's daddy?" or "Why's Yoda a bad guy?" (because Yoda looks angry when talking to Mace Windu) or "Who's that?" (which was asked roughly ten times about Luke Skywalker IN RETURN OF THE JEDI!)
It was fun though. Cool to sit with my boy and see him experience these films for the first time. After some time, I'm sure I'll look forward to watching them with Sully when he's old enough.
One quick observation. The new "trilogy" is not nearly as bad as so many make it sound. In some ways, I like it as much as the original "trilogy". I mean, as bad as Jar-Jar is, the Ewoks are just as annoying to me. The acting in Jedi is lacking in parts, which you don't notice when you're nine years old. Natalie Portman is way too hot to be Carrie Fisher's mom. Okay, Fisher in Star Wars IV is pretty attractive, minus the cinnabons on her head. But in Star Wars VI, just six years later? The woman is shoe leather rough looking. Even the skimpy sex slave outfit (which is nice) only covers up a face that has been ravaged by what looks like six straight years of coke binges.
I love the political stuff in the new trilogy. Looking back on it, the Emperor's plan is brilliant. A brilliant set up of the Jedi and grab for power.
Call me an idiot, but the first three stand up well with the second three in my book.
To finish the title, after finishing the saga, I've moved on to a DYNASTY. That is, the twenty-one films in the James Bond ouevre (I probably misspelled the hell out of that). Thus far, I'm three films in. Good stuff. Yes, yes, Sean Connery is the best Bond. But I've always thought Lazenby had tremendous potential if he stuck around past one film. He was damn good. Moore is good too, but a little lighter. Dalton was okay, but for me the worst. Brosnan was the best choice at the time. So far, one film in, I've no problem with Craig. I would like to see him lighten up, and he needs a Q and a Moneypenny to play off. But Casino Royale was good. It'll take a long time to finish all the films, but I'm trying.
After that, I'll probably move on to the Living Dead films of Mr. Romero. Once through that, I might be ready for the films of Andrei Tarkovsky. The legendary Russian filmmaker who made films that moved slightly slower than molasses running down a tar hill.
But Solaris is brilliant. And I can't die until I understand at least three minutes of his sci-fi film "Stalker".
ONE MORE THING:
I picked my winners for the best in cinema 2007. You can check the link on the last blog, as it has been updated.
OR
You can just read this.
MAKE-UP: La Vie En Rose
COSTUME DESIGN: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
VISUAL EFFECTS: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
ART DIRECTION: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
SOUND: There Will Be Blood
FILM EDITING: Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
CINEMATOGRAPHY: There Will Be Blood
ORIGINAL MUSIC SCORE: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: No End in Sight
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Paul Thomas Anderson "There Will Be Blood"
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Cristian Mungiu "4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days"
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Amy Ryan "Gone Baby Gone"
SUPPORTING ACTOR: Casey Affleck "The Assassination of Jesse James..."
ACTRESS: Marina Hands "Lady Chatterley"
ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis "There Will Be Blood"
DIRECTOR: Andrew Dominik "The Assassination of Jesse James..."
BEST PICTURE 2007: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
That's how I see it. I recommend any of them for viewing. Enjoy.
And if you hate it, don't blame me. Blame yourself for trusting an idiot who writes a blog called "Dung 2: Electric Poopaloo".
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Just finished a multitude of soccer magazines. Plus still working through some Frank books.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Well, soccer. Duh. Plus more, which is hinted at in the above title and will be explained below in the body of the post.
SO after many weeks and billions of questions, the boy and I finished the Star Wars SAGA. He enjoyed it, though he missed 95% of the dialogue because he was peppering me with questions along the lines of "Why doesn't the Emperor have a child?" (which in Jude speak tends to come out as "Empirate") or "Where's Han Solo's daddy?" or "Why's Yoda a bad guy?" (because Yoda looks angry when talking to Mace Windu) or "Who's that?" (which was asked roughly ten times about Luke Skywalker IN RETURN OF THE JEDI!)
It was fun though. Cool to sit with my boy and see him experience these films for the first time. After some time, I'm sure I'll look forward to watching them with Sully when he's old enough.
One quick observation. The new "trilogy" is not nearly as bad as so many make it sound. In some ways, I like it as much as the original "trilogy". I mean, as bad as Jar-Jar is, the Ewoks are just as annoying to me. The acting in Jedi is lacking in parts, which you don't notice when you're nine years old. Natalie Portman is way too hot to be Carrie Fisher's mom. Okay, Fisher in Star Wars IV is pretty attractive, minus the cinnabons on her head. But in Star Wars VI, just six years later? The woman is shoe leather rough looking. Even the skimpy sex slave outfit (which is nice) only covers up a face that has been ravaged by what looks like six straight years of coke binges.
I love the political stuff in the new trilogy. Looking back on it, the Emperor's plan is brilliant. A brilliant set up of the Jedi and grab for power.
Call me an idiot, but the first three stand up well with the second three in my book.
To finish the title, after finishing the saga, I've moved on to a DYNASTY. That is, the twenty-one films in the James Bond ouevre (I probably misspelled the hell out of that). Thus far, I'm three films in. Good stuff. Yes, yes, Sean Connery is the best Bond. But I've always thought Lazenby had tremendous potential if he stuck around past one film. He was damn good. Moore is good too, but a little lighter. Dalton was okay, but for me the worst. Brosnan was the best choice at the time. So far, one film in, I've no problem with Craig. I would like to see him lighten up, and he needs a Q and a Moneypenny to play off. But Casino Royale was good. It'll take a long time to finish all the films, but I'm trying.
After that, I'll probably move on to the Living Dead films of Mr. Romero. Once through that, I might be ready for the films of Andrei Tarkovsky. The legendary Russian filmmaker who made films that moved slightly slower than molasses running down a tar hill.
But Solaris is brilliant. And I can't die until I understand at least three minutes of his sci-fi film "Stalker".
ONE MORE THING:
I picked my winners for the best in cinema 2007. You can check the link on the last blog, as it has been updated.
OR
You can just read this.
MAKE-UP: La Vie En Rose
COSTUME DESIGN: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
VISUAL EFFECTS: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
ART DIRECTION: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
SOUND: There Will Be Blood
FILM EDITING: Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
CINEMATOGRAPHY: There Will Be Blood
ORIGINAL MUSIC SCORE: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: No End in Sight
FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Paul Thomas Anderson "There Will Be Blood"
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Cristian Mungiu "4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days"
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Amy Ryan "Gone Baby Gone"
SUPPORTING ACTOR: Casey Affleck "The Assassination of Jesse James..."
ACTRESS: Marina Hands "Lady Chatterley"
ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis "There Will Be Blood"
DIRECTOR: Andrew Dominik "The Assassination of Jesse James..."
BEST PICTURE 2007: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
That's how I see it. I recommend any of them for viewing. Enjoy.
And if you hate it, don't blame me. Blame yourself for trusting an idiot who writes a blog called "Dung 2: Electric Poopaloo".
Be Seeing You.
Monday, September 1, 2008
And the Nominees are...(plus random thoughts)
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Some "Yankee Foxtrot Hotel" by Wilco.
WHAT I'M READING: A hilarious book about youth soccer written by a Scotsman living in America coaching an inept team. It's called "Kick the Ball". Even if you hate soccer, this book is hilarious.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Well, some MLS action, some Football Matters (probably my favorite show in TV), and some movies...see below for more. Oh, and we did finally see The Dark Knight (helluva movie!)
AND THE NOMINEES ARE....Some may know, few may care, but I have another blog that is dedicated to my own version of the Academy Awards called The Jeff Awards (nice name, huh?). Every year I watch movies and decide on what I think are the best of the best. The last three years, that list was 100 films long. But time is short. This year, the list was 100 films long, but I set myself a time limit. Well, the time limit is up now. I only made it through 80 films released in 2007, but here is a link to the blog detailing the nominees for the uberprestigious Jeff Awards. Enjoy, complain, ignore, or use the list as a resource when you wish to see a good or great movie.
http://jeffawards.blogstream.com/
It's always fun to do. Now that the movies have been watched and the nominations announced, the only thing left to do is watch those five Best Picture nominees again, to see which is truly the best. I force my wife, Barefoot Adult, to watch any that she hasn't already seen. Thus far, she's sat through "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" and "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", and thought both were excellent.
Of course, she doesn't get a vote :)
MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS:
Some things floating around in my head on a fine Labor Day morning.
1. Still loving my time at the gym. I recently moved all my weights up. Results are starting to come in. I'm down to 209 (or 211 depending on the day). I'm able to run on the treadmill, at ever increasing rates of speed, without dying, so that's good. All around, I'm loving my Cardinal Fitness membership.
2. Well, the Democratic convention is over. I actually watched the speeches of both Biden and Obama. Good stuff there. Obama's speech was the kind that makes you think that things can really change for the better for all Americans. And I do like Biden as a VP.
With the GOP and McCain not really offering any change, and actually arguing that things are good right now in America, there's no way I can vote for him. Obama's speech made me proud that I'll be voting for him in November.
As for McCain's running mate choice, it's too early to tell. Maybe she is as great as some conservatives are saying, but I'll wait and see there. Even if she is that awesome, she's still just the VP choice, and McCain is still the candidate.
3. I never did make my annual English Premiership predictions this year. Well, as much as I love Manchester United, I'm thinking they might not be able to threepeat as champions. Chelsea are looking very strong right now, and have an excellent coach in Scolari. If I had to pick, I'd say Chelsea to win it all, with Man U finishing second. As far as the relegation battle, I see Hull and Stoke going right back down, joined by another club that I haven't decided on yet.
World Cup qualifiers have kicked off for the USA, and with a big win on the road. Got games coming up Saturday in Cuba, and next week in Bridgeview, IL versus Trinidad & Tobago. For Europe, the long qualifying process begins this weekend.
4. If you aren't part of the $500 million worth of viewers who've seen The Dark Knight, go do it. It's an excellent film. Not the best ever, and Ledger does not give the greatest performance ever, but it is a damn good piece of film.
5. Enjoy the holiday, get outside, and relax. Hard to believe it's already Labor Day. Summertime flew by. Seems like just yesterday that the pool was first put up, and the water didn't get warm fast enough, so that the swimming was ice cold. Now, the night's get cooler, and the water doesn't warm fast enough, so that the swimming is ice cold.
That's all I got.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: A hilarious book about youth soccer written by a Scotsman living in America coaching an inept team. It's called "Kick the Ball". Even if you hate soccer, this book is hilarious.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Well, some MLS action, some Football Matters (probably my favorite show in TV), and some movies...see below for more. Oh, and we did finally see The Dark Knight (helluva movie!)
AND THE NOMINEES ARE....Some may know, few may care, but I have another blog that is dedicated to my own version of the Academy Awards called The Jeff Awards (nice name, huh?). Every year I watch movies and decide on what I think are the best of the best. The last three years, that list was 100 films long. But time is short. This year, the list was 100 films long, but I set myself a time limit. Well, the time limit is up now. I only made it through 80 films released in 2007, but here is a link to the blog detailing the nominees for the uberprestigious Jeff Awards. Enjoy, complain, ignore, or use the list as a resource when you wish to see a good or great movie.
http://jeffawards.blogstream.com/
It's always fun to do. Now that the movies have been watched and the nominations announced, the only thing left to do is watch those five Best Picture nominees again, to see which is truly the best. I force my wife, Barefoot Adult, to watch any that she hasn't already seen. Thus far, she's sat through "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" and "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly", and thought both were excellent.
Of course, she doesn't get a vote :)
MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS:
Some things floating around in my head on a fine Labor Day morning.
1. Still loving my time at the gym. I recently moved all my weights up. Results are starting to come in. I'm down to 209 (or 211 depending on the day). I'm able to run on the treadmill, at ever increasing rates of speed, without dying, so that's good. All around, I'm loving my Cardinal Fitness membership.
2. Well, the Democratic convention is over. I actually watched the speeches of both Biden and Obama. Good stuff there. Obama's speech was the kind that makes you think that things can really change for the better for all Americans. And I do like Biden as a VP.
With the GOP and McCain not really offering any change, and actually arguing that things are good right now in America, there's no way I can vote for him. Obama's speech made me proud that I'll be voting for him in November.
As for McCain's running mate choice, it's too early to tell. Maybe she is as great as some conservatives are saying, but I'll wait and see there. Even if she is that awesome, she's still just the VP choice, and McCain is still the candidate.
3. I never did make my annual English Premiership predictions this year. Well, as much as I love Manchester United, I'm thinking they might not be able to threepeat as champions. Chelsea are looking very strong right now, and have an excellent coach in Scolari. If I had to pick, I'd say Chelsea to win it all, with Man U finishing second. As far as the relegation battle, I see Hull and Stoke going right back down, joined by another club that I haven't decided on yet.
World Cup qualifiers have kicked off for the USA, and with a big win on the road. Got games coming up Saturday in Cuba, and next week in Bridgeview, IL versus Trinidad & Tobago. For Europe, the long qualifying process begins this weekend.
4. If you aren't part of the $500 million worth of viewers who've seen The Dark Knight, go do it. It's an excellent film. Not the best ever, and Ledger does not give the greatest performance ever, but it is a damn good piece of film.
5. Enjoy the holiday, get outside, and relax. Hard to believe it's already Labor Day. Summertime flew by. Seems like just yesterday that the pool was first put up, and the water didn't get warm fast enough, so that the swimming was ice cold. Now, the night's get cooler, and the water doesn't warm fast enough, so that the swimming is ice cold.
That's all I got.
Be Seeing You.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
For Mojo
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Right now, the keys being typed.
WHAT I'M READING: Right now, this blog as I type it.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Right now, the computer screen as I...okay, lame joke is old already. Actually, I've got the Superclassico betwixt LA Galaxy and Chivas USA ready to go on the DVR.
But first...
PER Mojo's request, since we like to keep the people happy (and Mojo is good people), here is the listing, in order, of the mix CD I burned to facilitate better writing on my little project.
1. World at Large by Modest Mouse
2. Banana Puddin' by Southern Culture on the Skids
3. Comfort Eagle by Cake
4. Tenderness by General Public
5. Country Funk by Southern Culture on the Skids
6. Apple Candy by Ben Lee
7. Cheated Hearts by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
8. Engine Driver by The Decembrists
9. Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Greg Laswell
10. All the Way Down by Glen Hansard
11. Title & Registration by Death Cab for Cutie
12. You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) by Josh Groban
13. Karma Police by Radiohead
14. Swans by Unkle Bob
15. Trouble by Lindsey Buckingham
16. Alone With You by The Outfield (pure 80's trash)
17. Marching Bands of Manhattan by Death Cab for Cutie
18. Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset by Modest Mouse
If you know the tunes, you might be able to piece the story together.
And I'll have to kill you.
Except for Mojo.
(Mojo is good people).
ONE quick thought for the night:
1. Why the hell do smokers think the littering laws do not apply to them? They toss the butts out the windows as they drive, or drop them on the ground mere inches from an ashtray, with wanton disregard for the laws of the land. What the hell is up with that? If I were to toss a receipt out my window, people would have a conniption. So why do we all turn a blind eye when Johnny Tracheotomy decides he's done with his life-shortener and figures he can't be bothered to actually dispose of it properly?
If I was a cop, I'd pull their asses over, then stick my nightstick up their asses until they were spitting splinters out, and write a ticket for littering splinters too.
After that, I figure I'd lose my job and/or get sent to prison.
But sometimes you gots to stand up for things you believe in!
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Right now, this blog as I type it.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Right now, the computer screen as I...okay, lame joke is old already. Actually, I've got the Superclassico betwixt LA Galaxy and Chivas USA ready to go on the DVR.
But first...
PER Mojo's request, since we like to keep the people happy (and Mojo is good people), here is the listing, in order, of the mix CD I burned to facilitate better writing on my little project.
1. World at Large by Modest Mouse
2. Banana Puddin' by Southern Culture on the Skids
3. Comfort Eagle by Cake
4. Tenderness by General Public
5. Country Funk by Southern Culture on the Skids
6. Apple Candy by Ben Lee
7. Cheated Hearts by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
8. Engine Driver by The Decembrists
9. Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Greg Laswell
10. All the Way Down by Glen Hansard
11. Title & Registration by Death Cab for Cutie
12. You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) by Josh Groban
13. Karma Police by Radiohead
14. Swans by Unkle Bob
15. Trouble by Lindsey Buckingham
16. Alone With You by The Outfield (pure 80's trash)
17. Marching Bands of Manhattan by Death Cab for Cutie
18. Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset by Modest Mouse
If you know the tunes, you might be able to piece the story together.
And I'll have to kill you.
Except for Mojo.
(Mojo is good people).
ONE quick thought for the night:
1. Why the hell do smokers think the littering laws do not apply to them? They toss the butts out the windows as they drive, or drop them on the ground mere inches from an ashtray, with wanton disregard for the laws of the land. What the hell is up with that? If I were to toss a receipt out my window, people would have a conniption. So why do we all turn a blind eye when Johnny Tracheotomy decides he's done with his life-shortener and figures he can't be bothered to actually dispose of it properly?
If I was a cop, I'd pull their asses over, then stick my nightstick up their asses until they were spitting splinters out, and write a ticket for littering splinters too.
After that, I figure I'd lose my job and/or get sent to prison.
But sometimes you gots to stand up for things you believe in!
Be Seeing You.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Writer's Block
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Enjoying some "These Things That I've Done" by The Killers. Awesome tune. Plus, I got soul, but I'm no soldier either.
WHAT I'M READING: A book on Buddhism, called "The Big Questions" by Lama Surya Das. It's supposed to help me find my own damn answers to life's essential mysteries, or so the cover tells me.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: STILL working my way through 2007 films. More on that soon. Today it was Rescue Dawn, which is dawn good. Plus, X-Files and English football. So the usual.
THIS past week I finished an outline for a new original screenplay. This is a big deal, because I haven't written a completely new original screenplay since 2004, and before that it was 2001. Sure, I've done some rewrites. But nothing entirely new. And now I've got a outline.
And it's good.
See, I always have ideas kicking around in my head. Always. Right now, if I had no fear of a reader (there is really only one, isn't there) stealing an idea and making it not only better but actually getting it sold, I could toss out four or five original new ideas for scripts that I've got stored in there, always working and reworking them in preparation for writing them.
But that has been my problem. I'm always reworking, but not writing. Recently, the reality of it all hit me in the face like a slimy salami (or sweaty spaghetti if you like the alliteration). Without even realizing it, I had given up (this being the malaise I foreshadowed last blog out). In my head, I gave up the dream of writing a screenplay and actually seeing it make it into a movie on a big screen somewhere (even if it was only somebody's 32 TV). I settled for the fact that I wasn't a writer. That I wasn't any good. That it was all just a...well, a dream. A dream I'd never bring into reality.
It hit me hard. See, I've always had sucky retail jobs because in my mind, I was a writer (a writer of fiction, for you Decembrist fans). So these jobs were just temporary. Something to pay the bills until daddy sold his baby for cold hard sheckles.
Tangent, but could a sheckle be anything else but cold and hard? I can't picture a soft sheckle for the life of me.
But at some point recently, those temporary jobs became my (and I hate to even type the word) career. And writing? That was just a fantasy that would never happen.
It really tore me up. Close to depression. To give up something I've always dreamed about. Well, not always. But since fourth grade when I "wrote" my first book, a fifteen page illustrated tome called "Attack of the Sludge Monster", in which my friends and I defeated (take a guess)...the Sludge Monster.
Throughout school, and even into college, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be, the answer was a writer. Coupled with my love of film, and screenwriting was the goal. I even wasted four years studying to be a secondary education teacher because I thought having all the time off would allow me to write. I didn't love teaching, but that wouldn't matter because very soon I would be a professional writer.
The dream died. But now it's back. One day I woke up and realized that my plight would fit perfectly into the antagonist of one idea floating in my head. Because he was already a writer (in his head), why not give him my problems. They say you should write what you know. This is what I know, so why not write it?
Now, I've got a completed outline. I've burned a CD of music to inspire me. Most importantly, I'm not only ready to write the damn thing, but confident that it is good enough to make some agent's job easy.
I've even got an opening line. "They say you should write what you know. This is what I know." (is there an echo on this blog? Actually, with so few readers, there might be).
It's good stuff, and I'm excited. The dream is back. So now I just have to write this cinematic masterpiece and sell it. But that's the easy part. Getting here was the hard part.
The title? "Writer, blocked".
Wish me luck.
Be seeing you.
WHAT I'M READING: A book on Buddhism, called "The Big Questions" by Lama Surya Das. It's supposed to help me find my own damn answers to life's essential mysteries, or so the cover tells me.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: STILL working my way through 2007 films. More on that soon. Today it was Rescue Dawn, which is dawn good. Plus, X-Files and English football. So the usual.
THIS past week I finished an outline for a new original screenplay. This is a big deal, because I haven't written a completely new original screenplay since 2004, and before that it was 2001. Sure, I've done some rewrites. But nothing entirely new. And now I've got a outline.
And it's good.
See, I always have ideas kicking around in my head. Always. Right now, if I had no fear of a reader (there is really only one, isn't there) stealing an idea and making it not only better but actually getting it sold, I could toss out four or five original new ideas for scripts that I've got stored in there, always working and reworking them in preparation for writing them.
But that has been my problem. I'm always reworking, but not writing. Recently, the reality of it all hit me in the face like a slimy salami (or sweaty spaghetti if you like the alliteration). Without even realizing it, I had given up (this being the malaise I foreshadowed last blog out). In my head, I gave up the dream of writing a screenplay and actually seeing it make it into a movie on a big screen somewhere (even if it was only somebody's 32 TV). I settled for the fact that I wasn't a writer. That I wasn't any good. That it was all just a...well, a dream. A dream I'd never bring into reality.
It hit me hard. See, I've always had sucky retail jobs because in my mind, I was a writer (a writer of fiction, for you Decembrist fans). So these jobs were just temporary. Something to pay the bills until daddy sold his baby for cold hard sheckles.
Tangent, but could a sheckle be anything else but cold and hard? I can't picture a soft sheckle for the life of me.
But at some point recently, those temporary jobs became my (and I hate to even type the word) career. And writing? That was just a fantasy that would never happen.
It really tore me up. Close to depression. To give up something I've always dreamed about. Well, not always. But since fourth grade when I "wrote" my first book, a fifteen page illustrated tome called "Attack of the Sludge Monster", in which my friends and I defeated (take a guess)...the Sludge Monster.
Throughout school, and even into college, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be, the answer was a writer. Coupled with my love of film, and screenwriting was the goal. I even wasted four years studying to be a secondary education teacher because I thought having all the time off would allow me to write. I didn't love teaching, but that wouldn't matter because very soon I would be a professional writer.
The dream died. But now it's back. One day I woke up and realized that my plight would fit perfectly into the antagonist of one idea floating in my head. Because he was already a writer (in his head), why not give him my problems. They say you should write what you know. This is what I know, so why not write it?
Now, I've got a completed outline. I've burned a CD of music to inspire me. Most importantly, I'm not only ready to write the damn thing, but confident that it is good enough to make some agent's job easy.
I've even got an opening line. "They say you should write what you know. This is what I know." (is there an echo on this blog? Actually, with so few readers, there might be).
It's good stuff, and I'm excited. The dream is back. So now I just have to write this cinematic masterpiece and sell it. But that's the easy part. Getting here was the hard part.
The title? "Writer, blocked".
Wish me luck.
Be seeing you.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Notes from the Thousand Acre Woods
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A mix CD I burned to help facilitate writing, plus I'm working my way through our Tori Amos collection. When she's on, she's on. When she's not, I have to suffer through five horrible minutes.
WHAT I'M READING: Nothing really, outside of Entertainment Weekly. Need to hit the library soon.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Last film was, I believe Southland Tales, which is one fucked up film; it's a love-it-or-hate-it picture which I think I enjoyed. Definitely out there; curious how it ever got made. Not for the mainstream. Oh, and MLS action of course.
ONCE again I've been gone too long. Seems like every day I tell myself "Today is the day I blog", and then I never get around too it.
But here I am, forcing my hand as it is almost midnight. Some quick tidbits:
1. I discovered it long ago, and have it confirmed at least once or twice weekly. I've married Winnie the Pooh. My wife is Winnie, there can be no doubt. She use to shrug off the comparison at first, but now she accepts the facts. Hard to describe on a blog without spending half the night in the details. To crib a line from the excellent "All the Real Girls" film: "When you see her, you'll know."
She gets into Pooh-like predicaments. No matter how careful she is, somehow something always ends up on her shirts. I can't buy extra large jars o' honey because I'm certain it would wind up stuck on her head. I say it all out of love for her, but she's definitely a Pooh.
2. Anybody watching the travesty that is "America's Got Talent"? We occassionally forget to change the channel at night when it's on. Last week, some old lady and her daughter got up there and whistled a tune. The snide British judge (is there any other kind?) remarked how he couldn't fathom having to listen to people whistle for another minute, much less a whole hour. This is where it got my attention. The old lady proceeded to tell him that she has whistled for up to three hours for people, and they loved it. These people told the old hag they couldn't believe it.
Nor can I.
THREE FRIGGIN' HOURS of whistling! Who the hell could do that? Why would you? Why would you force that bullshit onto other living human beings? Who sits there for three damn hours listening to an old lady pass wind through her lips rather than her asscheeks? Either the old bint is lying, or she has put guests through the misery. But what level of moron would sit there for three hours? After thirty minutes I'd be raising my hand and asking "Is that all there is?" Another five minutes after that, I'd be rushing out the door with some excuse. And even if you could sit there for 180 minutes of whistling (dixie), would you really be happy at the end? I'd be strangling the bitch with the nearest blunt object. I'd put a steel-toed boot between those lips and tell her to whistle some blood. There's no way in hell anybody who just sat through three hours of whistling could be happy about it. I'd rather lose a testicle to an overzealous, underfed gerbil. No way they could have seriously complimented that bullshit.
"Nice whistling, grandma. Now hand me that gun so I can put a bullet in both our heads."
Let us not assume politeness to mean a respect for your talent, old raggedy bitch. Two minutes of that Guns & Roses song with whistling and I'm ready to drive off a cliff. There is nobody, not one single person, who honestly wants more than fifteen good solid minutes of whistling.
3. Went to the fair last week, and had us some fun. But aren't carnies the most miserable looking folks on the planet? Have you ever seen a carnie with a smile on his face? Or even faking a half-hearted grin? The guys taking our tickets last week for the rides appeared to have cattle rods up the keister. I haven't seen faces that grim at funerals. I know it probably gets tiresome after awhile, but at least fake like you are enjoying some aspect of your job once in a great while.
4. This should make any baseball fan out there want to punch me in the throat. This coming Wednesday, my company is taking us to a Cubs game as a reward for a lot of hard work this past month. Not just to a Cubs game, mind you, but to a Cubs game on the famed rooftop.
Now, I couldn't care less for baseball unless an old woman wasted three hours during the seventh inning stretch whistling "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", but I've agreed to go. For one simple reason.
The food.
I'm told by others that the rooftop is the only place to watch a game because the food is magnificent. Now, even if it's merely good, I'm okay with it. Because it's free. I never complain about free food. I may not partake of it, but I won't complain about it. You could serve me raw roadkill with a turd halfway squeezed out and I wouldn't utter a word of complaint.
So I'm wasting my day off to see the Cubs play, just for the food.
5. My wife hurt her back somehow this weekend. We're not sure yet. Might be that she dreamed her grandmother was serenading her with THREE FUCKING HOURS of whistling and tried to strangle the demon of her dreams. Anywho, the back is in pain. So yesterday I took her to the local place of healing to see what is the problem (much better than the date we had lined up of seeing The Dark Knight). Now, the most important thing after her getting some pills to help with the pain is that her doctor's name was, and this is 100% true, Dr. Doctor.
If your last name is Doctor, do you feel obligated to go into the field? Would you be a bit embarrassed if you turned out to be a janitor at the local porn shop? "Hey, Jizzmopper Doctor, get over here and clean out booth three. Can't you see the line forming?"
"My name is Doctor, and I'll be your waiter tonight."
"Hey Doctor! Throw some more fries in the vat. The dinner rush is on."
You name a character in a book that, and every reviewer in America will mock you for the childish humor.
6. Speaking of The Dark Knight, we still want to see it. I'm a big Batman fan, and love what Nolan did with Batman Begins. But I fear the hype is in overdrive now, too much so. What follows are actual comments I've been told, word for bloody word, from people who've seen it.
"It's the greatest movie ever." (Really? The Dark Knight? Everybody gets an opinion, but if this is the greatest movie ever, cinema is in trouble)
"Heath Ledger gives the greatest acting performance ever." (Again, really? I'm not doubting he's good, but greatest ever? Better than Denzel in Malcolm X? Kinglsey in Gandhi? Welles in Citizen Kane? Peck in "Mockingbird"?)
"If Ledger doesn't win the Oscar, I'll hurt somebody." (He may, he may not. But does somebody deserve to be hurt over that? And who exactly will you hurt?)
"If he (Ledger) doesn't get the Academy Award, it'll be the biggest ripoff ever."(Maybe so,maybe history will show that Heath not getting the award is a bigger ripoff than those scams targeted at the elderly, or the whole Amway pyramid scheme-but I got doubts)
"It's the most intense experience of my life." (Try driving on the highways outside of Atlanta, when you've got to cross five lanes of morning rush hour traffic in less than a quarter mile to hit your exit as my Pooh-esque wife did)
"I'd let two dudes have a dick swordfight in my mouth to see it again." (Nice, Uncle Ron, real nice. Okay, I made this one up)
"I saw it twice already. Probably see it another four times on the big screen." (If you like it, whatever, but surely there is some other movie you can invest it and whittle it down to just four or five viewings on the big screen; this quote was told to me THREE DAYS after it opened)
It does look awesome, and I have high hopes. But there is part of me thinking that people would not be all that quick to label Ledger's performance the best of all time had he not died.
Personally, I can't imagine he's better here than in Brokeback Mountain (which I saw with Uncle Ron, oddly enough), but anything is possible.
I'll let you know my own thoughts when we see it.
7. That's all I got for now. But I plan to be back sooner next time. I hope to blog on my recent period of writing malaise. Plus, the English football season is about to kick off. The lower leagues start this coming weekend, than next weekend the Premiership begins.
I don't know about y'all, but that's got my balls a-sweating.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Nothing really, outside of Entertainment Weekly. Need to hit the library soon.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Last film was, I believe Southland Tales, which is one fucked up film; it's a love-it-or-hate-it picture which I think I enjoyed. Definitely out there; curious how it ever got made. Not for the mainstream. Oh, and MLS action of course.
ONCE again I've been gone too long. Seems like every day I tell myself "Today is the day I blog", and then I never get around too it.
But here I am, forcing my hand as it is almost midnight. Some quick tidbits:
1. I discovered it long ago, and have it confirmed at least once or twice weekly. I've married Winnie the Pooh. My wife is Winnie, there can be no doubt. She use to shrug off the comparison at first, but now she accepts the facts. Hard to describe on a blog without spending half the night in the details. To crib a line from the excellent "All the Real Girls" film: "When you see her, you'll know."
She gets into Pooh-like predicaments. No matter how careful she is, somehow something always ends up on her shirts. I can't buy extra large jars o' honey because I'm certain it would wind up stuck on her head. I say it all out of love for her, but she's definitely a Pooh.
2. Anybody watching the travesty that is "America's Got Talent"? We occassionally forget to change the channel at night when it's on. Last week, some old lady and her daughter got up there and whistled a tune. The snide British judge (is there any other kind?) remarked how he couldn't fathom having to listen to people whistle for another minute, much less a whole hour. This is where it got my attention. The old lady proceeded to tell him that she has whistled for up to three hours for people, and they loved it. These people told the old hag they couldn't believe it.
Nor can I.
THREE FRIGGIN' HOURS of whistling! Who the hell could do that? Why would you? Why would you force that bullshit onto other living human beings? Who sits there for three damn hours listening to an old lady pass wind through her lips rather than her asscheeks? Either the old bint is lying, or she has put guests through the misery. But what level of moron would sit there for three hours? After thirty minutes I'd be raising my hand and asking "Is that all there is?" Another five minutes after that, I'd be rushing out the door with some excuse. And even if you could sit there for 180 minutes of whistling (dixie), would you really be happy at the end? I'd be strangling the bitch with the nearest blunt object. I'd put a steel-toed boot between those lips and tell her to whistle some blood. There's no way in hell anybody who just sat through three hours of whistling could be happy about it. I'd rather lose a testicle to an overzealous, underfed gerbil. No way they could have seriously complimented that bullshit.
"Nice whistling, grandma. Now hand me that gun so I can put a bullet in both our heads."
Let us not assume politeness to mean a respect for your talent, old raggedy bitch. Two minutes of that Guns & Roses song with whistling and I'm ready to drive off a cliff. There is nobody, not one single person, who honestly wants more than fifteen good solid minutes of whistling.
3. Went to the fair last week, and had us some fun. But aren't carnies the most miserable looking folks on the planet? Have you ever seen a carnie with a smile on his face? Or even faking a half-hearted grin? The guys taking our tickets last week for the rides appeared to have cattle rods up the keister. I haven't seen faces that grim at funerals. I know it probably gets tiresome after awhile, but at least fake like you are enjoying some aspect of your job once in a great while.
4. This should make any baseball fan out there want to punch me in the throat. This coming Wednesday, my company is taking us to a Cubs game as a reward for a lot of hard work this past month. Not just to a Cubs game, mind you, but to a Cubs game on the famed rooftop.
Now, I couldn't care less for baseball unless an old woman wasted three hours during the seventh inning stretch whistling "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", but I've agreed to go. For one simple reason.
The food.
I'm told by others that the rooftop is the only place to watch a game because the food is magnificent. Now, even if it's merely good, I'm okay with it. Because it's free. I never complain about free food. I may not partake of it, but I won't complain about it. You could serve me raw roadkill with a turd halfway squeezed out and I wouldn't utter a word of complaint.
So I'm wasting my day off to see the Cubs play, just for the food.
5. My wife hurt her back somehow this weekend. We're not sure yet. Might be that she dreamed her grandmother was serenading her with THREE FUCKING HOURS of whistling and tried to strangle the demon of her dreams. Anywho, the back is in pain. So yesterday I took her to the local place of healing to see what is the problem (much better than the date we had lined up of seeing The Dark Knight). Now, the most important thing after her getting some pills to help with the pain is that her doctor's name was, and this is 100% true, Dr. Doctor.
If your last name is Doctor, do you feel obligated to go into the field? Would you be a bit embarrassed if you turned out to be a janitor at the local porn shop? "Hey, Jizzmopper Doctor, get over here and clean out booth three. Can't you see the line forming?"
"My name is Doctor, and I'll be your waiter tonight."
"Hey Doctor! Throw some more fries in the vat. The dinner rush is on."
You name a character in a book that, and every reviewer in America will mock you for the childish humor.
6. Speaking of The Dark Knight, we still want to see it. I'm a big Batman fan, and love what Nolan did with Batman Begins. But I fear the hype is in overdrive now, too much so. What follows are actual comments I've been told, word for bloody word, from people who've seen it.
"It's the greatest movie ever." (Really? The Dark Knight? Everybody gets an opinion, but if this is the greatest movie ever, cinema is in trouble)
"Heath Ledger gives the greatest acting performance ever." (Again, really? I'm not doubting he's good, but greatest ever? Better than Denzel in Malcolm X? Kinglsey in Gandhi? Welles in Citizen Kane? Peck in "Mockingbird"?)
"If Ledger doesn't win the Oscar, I'll hurt somebody." (He may, he may not. But does somebody deserve to be hurt over that? And who exactly will you hurt?)
"If he (Ledger) doesn't get the Academy Award, it'll be the biggest ripoff ever."(Maybe so,maybe history will show that Heath not getting the award is a bigger ripoff than those scams targeted at the elderly, or the whole Amway pyramid scheme-but I got doubts)
"It's the most intense experience of my life." (Try driving on the highways outside of Atlanta, when you've got to cross five lanes of morning rush hour traffic in less than a quarter mile to hit your exit as my Pooh-esque wife did)
"I'd let two dudes have a dick swordfight in my mouth to see it again." (Nice, Uncle Ron, real nice. Okay, I made this one up)
"I saw it twice already. Probably see it another four times on the big screen." (If you like it, whatever, but surely there is some other movie you can invest it and whittle it down to just four or five viewings on the big screen; this quote was told to me THREE DAYS after it opened)
It does look awesome, and I have high hopes. But there is part of me thinking that people would not be all that quick to label Ledger's performance the best of all time had he not died.
Personally, I can't imagine he's better here than in Brokeback Mountain (which I saw with Uncle Ron, oddly enough), but anything is possible.
I'll let you know my own thoughts when we see it.
7. That's all I got for now. But I plan to be back sooner next time. I hope to blog on my recent period of writing malaise. Plus, the English football season is about to kick off. The lower leagues start this coming weekend, than next weekend the Premiership begins.
I don't know about y'all, but that's got my balls a-sweating.
Be Seeing You.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Hard Wood Floors and Baby Heads: A War of Attrition
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: "Tunnels" by Arcade Fire is one hell of an awesome song.
WHAT I'M READING: Same damn book. It's good, but it's also over 400 pages. And I do all of my reading these days on the toilet, so it takes awhile.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Tonight, it will be a documentary called "Crazy Love".
SO back in late April my mother-in-law talked us into tearing our carpet out and sticking with the loverly hardwood floors. They are beautiful.
The only problem is we have a nine month old baby. And this baby is reckless, like his older brother. He's also just learning to crawl. And his sitting is still in the rookie stages.
A dangerous combo.
Last week, he was trying to crawl. Head just two or three inches off the floor. And he dipped his head down, colliding with the hardwood floor.
It wasn't the first time, but it was the worst. Because while his mother held him for comfort, I could see his little face over her shoulder. It was one of the scariest moments ever. Because he was out of it for three seconds. Punch drunk. I've watched enough boxing and MMA to see fighters who take that hard blow to the head and are out of it. My little boy was out of it. For that brief moment in time, I knew he was going to pass out. I was fearing concussion, or worse. That was the look in his little eyes.
I quickly swooped in, afraid for my boy but also not wanting his mother to see that look. She can't handle her boys in pain. Well, not in pain like that. He snapped back into it shortly after, and finally cried. I was glad to hear those tears.
Since then, he's bopped his head again, in the same spot. So you have a nasty bruise and a nasty bump on top of it. But he keeps plugging along, smiling, and finally yesterday crawling for the first time.
SO here's the big gym schedule I proudly crowed about in my last blog.
MONDAY:
1. Treadmill-15 minutes (upping the speed every two minutes)
2. V-Crunches-2 sets of 20 each.
3. Torso Rotation-2 sets 20 each at 70 pounds.
4. Abdominal Isolator-2 sets of 10. First is 70 pounds, second is 80.
5. Abdominal Crunch-2 sets of 10 each. First is 50 pounds, second is 60.
6. Seated Dip-2 sets 10 each. First is 70, second is 80.
7. Bicep Curls-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 95.
8. Shoulder Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 60, second is 70.
9. Pec Fly/Rear Delt-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 90.
10. Vertical Chest Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 90.
11. Pulldown-2 sets 10 each. First is 70 pounds, second is 80.
12. Vertical Row-2 sets 10 each. First is 60, second is 70.
WEDNESDAY:
All twelve of my Monday duties, plus
13. Tricep Extension-2 sets 10 each. First is 70 pounds, second is 85.
14. Lateral Raise-2 sets 10 each. First is 50, second is 60.
15. Chest Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 40 pounds each bar, second is 50 pounds each bar. This one you have to adjust weights for both bars.
16. MTS Row-2 sets 10 each. First is 40 on each bar. Second is 50 on each bar.
17. Leg Lift-2 sets 10 each. First is 100 pounds, second is 120.
18. Another turn on treadmill for ten minutes.
FRIDAY:
I do the first five from Monday to get the gut down. Then I do #13, #6,#7,#14,#15,#10 and #16.
So there you have it. The weights are not much right now, because I'm just starting out. But they'll be moving up every two weeks. And one day, I'll be in shape again.
Maybe.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Same damn book. It's good, but it's also over 400 pages. And I do all of my reading these days on the toilet, so it takes awhile.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Tonight, it will be a documentary called "Crazy Love".
SO back in late April my mother-in-law talked us into tearing our carpet out and sticking with the loverly hardwood floors. They are beautiful.
The only problem is we have a nine month old baby. And this baby is reckless, like his older brother. He's also just learning to crawl. And his sitting is still in the rookie stages.
A dangerous combo.
Last week, he was trying to crawl. Head just two or three inches off the floor. And he dipped his head down, colliding with the hardwood floor.
It wasn't the first time, but it was the worst. Because while his mother held him for comfort, I could see his little face over her shoulder. It was one of the scariest moments ever. Because he was out of it for three seconds. Punch drunk. I've watched enough boxing and MMA to see fighters who take that hard blow to the head and are out of it. My little boy was out of it. For that brief moment in time, I knew he was going to pass out. I was fearing concussion, or worse. That was the look in his little eyes.
I quickly swooped in, afraid for my boy but also not wanting his mother to see that look. She can't handle her boys in pain. Well, not in pain like that. He snapped back into it shortly after, and finally cried. I was glad to hear those tears.
Since then, he's bopped his head again, in the same spot. So you have a nasty bruise and a nasty bump on top of it. But he keeps plugging along, smiling, and finally yesterday crawling for the first time.
SO here's the big gym schedule I proudly crowed about in my last blog.
MONDAY:
1. Treadmill-15 minutes (upping the speed every two minutes)
2. V-Crunches-2 sets of 20 each.
3. Torso Rotation-2 sets 20 each at 70 pounds.
4. Abdominal Isolator-2 sets of 10. First is 70 pounds, second is 80.
5. Abdominal Crunch-2 sets of 10 each. First is 50 pounds, second is 60.
6. Seated Dip-2 sets 10 each. First is 70, second is 80.
7. Bicep Curls-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 95.
8. Shoulder Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 60, second is 70.
9. Pec Fly/Rear Delt-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 90.
10. Vertical Chest Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 90.
11. Pulldown-2 sets 10 each. First is 70 pounds, second is 80.
12. Vertical Row-2 sets 10 each. First is 60, second is 70.
WEDNESDAY:
All twelve of my Monday duties, plus
13. Tricep Extension-2 sets 10 each. First is 70 pounds, second is 85.
14. Lateral Raise-2 sets 10 each. First is 50, second is 60.
15. Chest Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 40 pounds each bar, second is 50 pounds each bar. This one you have to adjust weights for both bars.
16. MTS Row-2 sets 10 each. First is 40 on each bar. Second is 50 on each bar.
17. Leg Lift-2 sets 10 each. First is 100 pounds, second is 120.
18. Another turn on treadmill for ten minutes.
FRIDAY:
I do the first five from Monday to get the gut down. Then I do #13, #6,#7,#14,#15,#10 and #16.
So there you have it. The weights are not much right now, because I'm just starting out. But they'll be moving up every two weeks. And one day, I'll be in shape again.
Maybe.
Be Seeing You.
Friday, July 11, 2008
This is Amazing
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Have you heard "Cheated Hearts" by Yeah Yeah Yeah's? I have.
WHAT I'M READING: Still plowing through that book on the 9/11 Commission. Good shit.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: More 2007 films, such as Superbad and Diving Bell & the Butterfly. Good stuff. Plus the Superclassico betwixt Los Angeles Galaxy and CD Chivas USA.
SO it's been a week since the holiday. Hope everybody enjoyed their Fourth. Did get to hear a pretty big firework display late that night, so all is well.
A better week this week. Got back into the gym. Finally worked out a weekly schedule for myself, which I will be posting next time. Right now it's in my gym bag, which is in the bedroom, in which the lovely Barefoot Adult is snoozing. But I'm happy with it, and very glad to get back into my gym routine after a week off. Went all three times, which is good.
Things are starting to heat up in the Summer of 2008. We've been getting into the pool quite frequently lately. Jude is loving it, and Sullivan appears to like the water too. He smiles as he kicks his legs and splashes his hands. Daddy enjoys keeping it clean.
See, the ole Dungmaster is a clean freak. Anal about it, even. I can't just let a dirty situation go. Dirty clothes must be washed now. Tonight. Not tomorrow, or next time. Dirty dishes cannot sit in the sink overnight. I don't care if I have to wash dishes at eleven in the P.M. and am folding a load of laundry while starting another load at midnight thirty. Same goes with picking up the house. No toy can be out of its designated spot after the kid's are in bed.
It's a sickness really. Good for my family because the house is usually clean. But I can be too picky about it sometimes. It's just in my blood. And it's no different in the pool. I see a leaf or a drowned bug float by, and I'm going for the net before you can see "Anal Asshole".
Cleaning is something I'm very good at. Upward mobility in my job is not. I've been doing the same job since I started with Edy's. It's a good job, but not something that brings me great pride. But last week I was shopping with the boys at the local SuperTarget and pointing out to Jude which sections of the ice cream I had filled just two days before. I pointed out the Haagen Dasz door. Jude stared for a moment, than looked at me with his big wide eyes.
"Daddy, this is amazing."
I've rarely in my entire life felt as good as I did right then. It's not a prestige job, and any old fool could do it with minimal effort. But to hear my special boy say that to me was incredible.
IT'S question time, kiddies. Every now and then I just have questions about things in this world. Things that truly stump me. I plan to share some with you, my faithful reader, when I can remember them.
1. How does one get a circle jerk going amongst friends? I can believe two guys hanging out and talking each other into a jerk-off session. It's just two guys who could keep a secret. But how a group of five or more guys can talk themselves into whipping out the cocks and stroking for glory is beyond my comprehension.
2. Why do twenty-year old kids working the frozen department think they know more about running an ice cream business than people who've been doing it globally for decades? I can't believe the amount of times some young punk will gladly reveal to me what my company needs to do different to be better.
3. Speaking of ice cream, it's pronounced E-Dees, people. I am now officially offended by the people who come up and refer to me and my company as "Eddies". There's one friggin' "D", people. "Edy's". I've never met an "Eddy" who spelled his name with one friggin' "D".
4. Why do so many people go bonkers over the Mexican immigrants who don't speak English fluently, yet have no problem with the Amish. I love the Amish myself. But they live here without paying taxes and almost always speak in Dutch, and nobody cares.
That's all I got right now, but more will come to me. This world just confuses me sometimes.
A major event is coming next week. On Friday, in one location will be the internet blogging phenoms from Dung!2, Barefoot Adult, AND Parenthetical. We should all get together and have a blog jerk.
It's late, I'm tired, and the bed is calling my name. Time to get some rest. But I will return soon.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Still plowing through that book on the 9/11 Commission. Good shit.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: More 2007 films, such as Superbad and Diving Bell & the Butterfly. Good stuff. Plus the Superclassico betwixt Los Angeles Galaxy and CD Chivas USA.
SO it's been a week since the holiday. Hope everybody enjoyed their Fourth. Did get to hear a pretty big firework display late that night, so all is well.
A better week this week. Got back into the gym. Finally worked out a weekly schedule for myself, which I will be posting next time. Right now it's in my gym bag, which is in the bedroom, in which the lovely Barefoot Adult is snoozing. But I'm happy with it, and very glad to get back into my gym routine after a week off. Went all three times, which is good.
Things are starting to heat up in the Summer of 2008. We've been getting into the pool quite frequently lately. Jude is loving it, and Sullivan appears to like the water too. He smiles as he kicks his legs and splashes his hands. Daddy enjoys keeping it clean.
See, the ole Dungmaster is a clean freak. Anal about it, even. I can't just let a dirty situation go. Dirty clothes must be washed now. Tonight. Not tomorrow, or next time. Dirty dishes cannot sit in the sink overnight. I don't care if I have to wash dishes at eleven in the P.M. and am folding a load of laundry while starting another load at midnight thirty. Same goes with picking up the house. No toy can be out of its designated spot after the kid's are in bed.
It's a sickness really. Good for my family because the house is usually clean. But I can be too picky about it sometimes. It's just in my blood. And it's no different in the pool. I see a leaf or a drowned bug float by, and I'm going for the net before you can see "Anal Asshole".
Cleaning is something I'm very good at. Upward mobility in my job is not. I've been doing the same job since I started with Edy's. It's a good job, but not something that brings me great pride. But last week I was shopping with the boys at the local SuperTarget and pointing out to Jude which sections of the ice cream I had filled just two days before. I pointed out the Haagen Dasz door. Jude stared for a moment, than looked at me with his big wide eyes.
"Daddy, this is amazing."
I've rarely in my entire life felt as good as I did right then. It's not a prestige job, and any old fool could do it with minimal effort. But to hear my special boy say that to me was incredible.
IT'S question time, kiddies. Every now and then I just have questions about things in this world. Things that truly stump me. I plan to share some with you, my faithful reader, when I can remember them.
1. How does one get a circle jerk going amongst friends? I can believe two guys hanging out and talking each other into a jerk-off session. It's just two guys who could keep a secret. But how a group of five or more guys can talk themselves into whipping out the cocks and stroking for glory is beyond my comprehension.
2. Why do twenty-year old kids working the frozen department think they know more about running an ice cream business than people who've been doing it globally for decades? I can't believe the amount of times some young punk will gladly reveal to me what my company needs to do different to be better.
3. Speaking of ice cream, it's pronounced E-Dees, people. I am now officially offended by the people who come up and refer to me and my company as "Eddies". There's one friggin' "D", people. "Edy's". I've never met an "Eddy" who spelled his name with one friggin' "D".
4. Why do so many people go bonkers over the Mexican immigrants who don't speak English fluently, yet have no problem with the Amish. I love the Amish myself. But they live here without paying taxes and almost always speak in Dutch, and nobody cares.
That's all I got right now, but more will come to me. This world just confuses me sometimes.
A major event is coming next week. On Friday, in one location will be the internet blogging phenoms from Dung!2, Barefoot Adult, AND Parenthetical. We should all get together and have a blog jerk.
It's late, I'm tired, and the bed is calling my name. Time to get some rest. But I will return soon.
Be Seeing You.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Happy Birthday America!
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A different version of "All Along the Watchtower" by Yul Anderson that I think I like more than either famous version.
WHAT I'M READING: The Commission, about the 9/11 commission.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Movies, the last of which was the not-so-good "The Kingdom". Also some soccer on the TV.
BUSY week at work. Too damn busy. Got off just before or after five every day. That means I didn't get to the gym one day this week. Also that I had to do my laundry overnight. I hate working way too much. It ruins my schedule.
Nice Fourth of July this year. No fireworks, again. But that's okay. With two small children, we can't stay up that late. My wife's hometown in Southwest Michigan has a great display every year, but it doesn't start until 10:30 or 11 pm. So we haven't seen any major firework displays since 2002. But for me, it's more about spending a nice day off in summer weather with family. We go to my father-in-law's every year and today was no exception. A fun day.
With working so much this week, not much time to organize my thoughts in blog form. So I'll cut it off here and hope to rejoin you next week, buff and ready to go, with clean clothes.
Hope you all had a great Independence Day. Happy Birthday USA.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: The Commission, about the 9/11 commission.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Movies, the last of which was the not-so-good "The Kingdom". Also some soccer on the TV.
BUSY week at work. Too damn busy. Got off just before or after five every day. That means I didn't get to the gym one day this week. Also that I had to do my laundry overnight. I hate working way too much. It ruins my schedule.
Nice Fourth of July this year. No fireworks, again. But that's okay. With two small children, we can't stay up that late. My wife's hometown in Southwest Michigan has a great display every year, but it doesn't start until 10:30 or 11 pm. So we haven't seen any major firework displays since 2002. But for me, it's more about spending a nice day off in summer weather with family. We go to my father-in-law's every year and today was no exception. A fun day.
With working so much this week, not much time to organize my thoughts in blog form. So I'll cut it off here and hope to rejoin you next week, buff and ready to go, with clean clothes.
Hope you all had a great Independence Day. Happy Birthday USA.
Be Seeing You.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
No Pain, No Gain
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A CD from the library called Tune Toons. I spoke of it before, with the horrid Popeye theme song. A recent trip to the library has brought it back into my life.
WHAT I'M READING: Alan Alda's first memoir "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed", because I've always liked Alda. A huge MASH fan.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Viewed No Country for Old Men today. Awesome film. I've seen all five Oscar nominees now, and three (this, Juno, There Will Be Blood) were excellent films. Kudos to the Academy. I watched I'm Not There last night. Pretty good, but it took me awhile to come to that conclusion. A love it/hate it type film with enough smoking to kill your grandma.
THREE weeks back I broke down and joined a local gym. I'd had enough of being out of shape. Back in 1998, a friend conned me into going to his gym, and I joined up. I got into it after awhile, and enjoyed my thrice weekly visits. But about mid-2000 it became easier to not go. I had just gotten engaged and was spending mucho time with my now-wife. Plus with work and other things, I seemed to always find an excuse to not go. So I quit.
Usually I hover between 185-200. I got up to 210 in early 2004, but after a very stressful time on third shift and several illnesses, I dropped thirty pounds quickly. So quickly I didn't even notice until somebody told me. I was happy at 180.
Then I got a job at Edy's Ice Cream. Most of the time is spent in my car. I wound up eating my lunches as I drove. The weight came back, big time.
I topped out, about a month ago, at 222. A gut that scared and insulted me whenever I looked at it.
So I finally broke down and joined a local gym. It's only about six minutes from home, and costs under twenty bucks per month. Plus there's no membership; it's month-by-month. So little excuse not to go. The first two weeks, I worked exclusively on cardio. Running on the treadmill for fifteen minutes (usually got over two miles in), then doing some crunches, then hitting the bike for another fifteen to twenty minutes (usually got over five miles, I rule on the bike). Some more crunches, and I went home.
This week, I broke that routine. I started hitting the weight machines. Unlike some, I really enjoy lifting weights. I had forgotten just how much until Monday, when I started. I still warm up for ten on the treadmill, but then hit the machines. I work my way down one row, hitting every machine, before working back on the other (skipping some machines, as I don't work my legs too much).
I feel great. Sore, but great. Of course I overdo it. But I get into the work-out and forget to pace myself. Right now I can barely lift my right arm to my ear, as I've somehow bruised the back of my bicep. But I'm loving my time in the gym. It gives me a high like no other.
If you're thinking about joining a gym, just do it (don't sue, Nike). You'll feel great.
ONE quick observation. How low has TV sunk that we now have a reality show where young couples are given the BABIES of other couples to raise for a few weeks, in order to prepare them. Those babies must feel loved to be handed off by their parents. And what is the point? You treat your own kids much better than others. You tolerate more. You sacrifice more.
It just seems, to me, to be the dumbest reality show yet. Even worse than swapping wives.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Alan Alda's first memoir "Never Have Your Dog Stuffed", because I've always liked Alda. A huge MASH fan.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Viewed No Country for Old Men today. Awesome film. I've seen all five Oscar nominees now, and three (this, Juno, There Will Be Blood) were excellent films. Kudos to the Academy. I watched I'm Not There last night. Pretty good, but it took me awhile to come to that conclusion. A love it/hate it type film with enough smoking to kill your grandma.
THREE weeks back I broke down and joined a local gym. I'd had enough of being out of shape. Back in 1998, a friend conned me into going to his gym, and I joined up. I got into it after awhile, and enjoyed my thrice weekly visits. But about mid-2000 it became easier to not go. I had just gotten engaged and was spending mucho time with my now-wife. Plus with work and other things, I seemed to always find an excuse to not go. So I quit.
Usually I hover between 185-200. I got up to 210 in early 2004, but after a very stressful time on third shift and several illnesses, I dropped thirty pounds quickly. So quickly I didn't even notice until somebody told me. I was happy at 180.
Then I got a job at Edy's Ice Cream. Most of the time is spent in my car. I wound up eating my lunches as I drove. The weight came back, big time.
I topped out, about a month ago, at 222. A gut that scared and insulted me whenever I looked at it.
So I finally broke down and joined a local gym. It's only about six minutes from home, and costs under twenty bucks per month. Plus there's no membership; it's month-by-month. So little excuse not to go. The first two weeks, I worked exclusively on cardio. Running on the treadmill for fifteen minutes (usually got over two miles in), then doing some crunches, then hitting the bike for another fifteen to twenty minutes (usually got over five miles, I rule on the bike). Some more crunches, and I went home.
This week, I broke that routine. I started hitting the weight machines. Unlike some, I really enjoy lifting weights. I had forgotten just how much until Monday, when I started. I still warm up for ten on the treadmill, but then hit the machines. I work my way down one row, hitting every machine, before working back on the other (skipping some machines, as I don't work my legs too much).
I feel great. Sore, but great. Of course I overdo it. But I get into the work-out and forget to pace myself. Right now I can barely lift my right arm to my ear, as I've somehow bruised the back of my bicep. But I'm loving my time in the gym. It gives me a high like no other.
If you're thinking about joining a gym, just do it (don't sue, Nike). You'll feel great.
ONE quick observation. How low has TV sunk that we now have a reality show where young couples are given the BABIES of other couples to raise for a few weeks, in order to prepare them. Those babies must feel loved to be handed off by their parents. And what is the point? You treat your own kids much better than others. You tolerate more. You sacrifice more.
It just seems, to me, to be the dumbest reality show yet. Even worse than swapping wives.
Be Seeing You.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Scully Size Me!
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Track number six on The Fountain soundtrack is getting a lot of play lately. It's a gorgeous little piece called Xabulba (I know I misspelled that to all-hell) that puts me in a reflective mood as I drive.
WHAT I'M READING: Finally got that dull-ass McCain book out of my life. It was like steroids, in that it made me very angry and shriveled by penis. Now on to the June/July issue of MajorLeagueSoccer magazine (glad to see it still going strong, as the last major U.S. soccer magazine-Striker-only lasted three issues). Next book up is something called "A Nation of Wimps: the high cost of invasive parenting" by Hara Estroff Marano. I'm reading it to hone yet another way to scar my children forever before age five.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Enjoyed the UFC Ultimate Finale last night LIVE on Spike TV. Pretty damn good fight card and I actually like the fella who won the Ultimate Fighter 7 (Amir Sadallah if you care). Plus, Evan Tanner was sporting the Hobo Beard (tm). And, of course, season four of the X-Files. Not to mention Euro 2008.
OKAY, let me put this down for the record right now. Season Four of the X-Files is the height of Scully hotness. She looked damn good before, and she'll continue making me tingle for five more seasons (and two movies). But she never looked more attractive, nor ever seemed more intelligent than in Season Four. I'd punch my mother in the throat to have just a few seconds alone with Scully. Hell, she could sit naked next to my bed reading Shakespearian sonnets whilst I jingle-jangle-jingle for all I care.
It is definitely the combination of heart stopping attractive looks, intelligence, medical knowledge, an allegiance to doing what is right, and her command of her weapon that wrap itself up into one awesome, eye-popping Scully in a blanket.
I don't know if Gillian Anderson is smart or not, nor do I wish to find out. My attraction is to Agent Scully. Definitely in the top three hottest TV characters of all-time pantheon.
Mulder's not so bad either (that's for you, honey).
SPEAKING of the Hobo Beard (tm), every time I see a man with one, I get jealous. I also get the strong desire to grow a beard and let it go all funky and hobo-style. A Soup Saver I call it. You know, when the guy lets his beard grow long and mangy, like a street bum or a mountain man, or a MMA fighter (thanks to Kimbo Slice and Evan Tanner).
The only thing stopping me is a wife who hates beards. I can probably talk her into letting me grow a beard, but could never get her support on letting it get all bushy and such.
But I swear to all you faithful readers (both of you) that if I ever go off on my own to finish my great screenplay or novel, that I shall grow a Hobo Beard (tm) whilst writing, and come out of my cabin-in-the-woods seclusion with some fresh pages and a beard that made Tom Berenger's fake beard in Gettysburg look like a bikini-waxed pubic region.
Think Scully would find that hot?
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: Finally got that dull-ass McCain book out of my life. It was like steroids, in that it made me very angry and shriveled by penis. Now on to the June/July issue of MajorLeagueSoccer magazine (glad to see it still going strong, as the last major U.S. soccer magazine-Striker-only lasted three issues). Next book up is something called "A Nation of Wimps: the high cost of invasive parenting" by Hara Estroff Marano. I'm reading it to hone yet another way to scar my children forever before age five.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Enjoyed the UFC Ultimate Finale last night LIVE on Spike TV. Pretty damn good fight card and I actually like the fella who won the Ultimate Fighter 7 (Amir Sadallah if you care). Plus, Evan Tanner was sporting the Hobo Beard (tm). And, of course, season four of the X-Files. Not to mention Euro 2008.
OKAY, let me put this down for the record right now. Season Four of the X-Files is the height of Scully hotness. She looked damn good before, and she'll continue making me tingle for five more seasons (and two movies). But she never looked more attractive, nor ever seemed more intelligent than in Season Four. I'd punch my mother in the throat to have just a few seconds alone with Scully. Hell, she could sit naked next to my bed reading Shakespearian sonnets whilst I jingle-jangle-jingle for all I care.
It is definitely the combination of heart stopping attractive looks, intelligence, medical knowledge, an allegiance to doing what is right, and her command of her weapon that wrap itself up into one awesome, eye-popping Scully in a blanket.
I don't know if Gillian Anderson is smart or not, nor do I wish to find out. My attraction is to Agent Scully. Definitely in the top three hottest TV characters of all-time pantheon.
Mulder's not so bad either (that's for you, honey).
SPEAKING of the Hobo Beard (tm), every time I see a man with one, I get jealous. I also get the strong desire to grow a beard and let it go all funky and hobo-style. A Soup Saver I call it. You know, when the guy lets his beard grow long and mangy, like a street bum or a mountain man, or a MMA fighter (thanks to Kimbo Slice and Evan Tanner).
The only thing stopping me is a wife who hates beards. I can probably talk her into letting me grow a beard, but could never get her support on letting it get all bushy and such.
But I swear to all you faithful readers (both of you) that if I ever go off on my own to finish my great screenplay or novel, that I shall grow a Hobo Beard (tm) whilst writing, and come out of my cabin-in-the-woods seclusion with some fresh pages and a beard that made Tom Berenger's fake beard in Gettysburg look like a bikini-waxed pubic region.
Think Scully would find that hot?
Be Seeing You.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Interview with a Jackass
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: The soundtrack to "There's Something About Mary", especially Danny Wilson's "Mary's Prayer" which is a nice little tune.
WHAT I'M READING: The dull McCain book still holds me captive, but luckily it's due back tomorrow so I'll be rid of it. It's like a spell, really.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: X-Files with no lights on. Euro 2008 as it heads to the quarter-finals. Plus, I got "No Country for Old Men" for Father's Day so I want to watch it soon. Way too late to be seeing last year' s Best Picture.
HOPE everybody had a great Father's Day. Mine was excellent. Morning with the boys and wife, afternoon with the in-laws up North. A wonderful dinner, some time at a brand new park, and gorgeous weather. It was good.
Today, not as such.
Had my second interview. I touched on it briefly last time, thinking it might be exciting news. But as the good book says "We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us." See, it's with this company. First interview went well. Not great, but I'm never a great interview. But good. This time, I was more prepared than ever before. I had notes written down, questions written out. My wife did internet research on the company. I was prepared to rock this bitch.
It went downhill quickly. The lady I interviewed with last time was there, but so was some guy. Maybe her boss. Not sure. They sat me down across from both of them. He smiled and said it wasn't an interrogation. Then he spent the next forty-five minutes interrogating me. Short of the waterboarding, it was as close to Gitmo as I'll get in this lifetime.
See, somebody who once was the assistant manager at a store I worked for long ago apparently also works at this company. And apparently he didn't speak highly of me. I can only think of one real reason why, since we were always on good terms. He had been fired from that old company shortly after I left for stealing money from the cash drawers. I think maybe he didn't want me there to rat him out, as I can't believe they would have hired him if he told them what he did.
I'll break it down. At that job, I was the third shift manager. I was okay. Not great. I didn't love the job, but I did it. Unfortunately, I was caught between two bosses. One was the grocery manager, who was my direct boss. The other was the store manager, boss of all. They didn't like each other. They also constantly gave me conflicting orders. The grocery manager would tell me one thing. I'd have my guys and I do it. The store manager would get mad and tell me off. So I'd do it his way next time. The grocery manager would get mad and tell me off. I'd explain "Well, the Store Manager told me to do it this way." That would just get me chewed out, because it was his grocery department. I'd tell the store manager "Well, the Grocery Manager told me to do this" and I'd get yelled at that it was his store. No win.
After a few lies from the store manager (various, some about pay, some about shifts), I got fed up. Around Thanksgiving, I got so sick I couldn't leave the bathroom for hours. When I called off, both told me I showed a lack of commitment and was nothing but a disappointment to the company for letting my team down. That my team didn't care was beside the point. I was told to get the holiday backstock out of the backroom in two days or I'd be fired. My crew and I did it. I was proud of them. But behind my back, my assistant was being told that he'd have my job soon anyway, because they were going to find some reason to get rid of me. Nice way to run a business, huh?
So in December I put in for a job with a certain ice cream company. I got interviewed. I got the job, pending a drug test. Now, I don't do drugs. Ever. Not so much as even smoking once in my life. So I knew I would pass it. But the ice cream company told me not to put in my notice until they had an official negative drug test. So I didn't. I told my crew, but nobody else. Being the holiday season, it took an abnormally long time to get that drug test result back.
During that long wait, the store manager decided to demote me. Now, they gave me a few different reasons, all of which were not quite accurate. For example, in order to shut up the whining one night, I told my crew that possibly if we did job A, we wouldn't have to do job B. I planned to do both, but at four in the morning you say a lot of things to shut up whining and get guys working. We did job A. It was close to the end of the shift. We were told we could leave before finishing job B.
Now, in the demotion meeting, it became a little less positive. They claimed I had told my crew that we would do job A and leave job B for the day crew. Not what I said. Especially when you consider we actually started job B and were told to leave before finishing it. But they didn't let those facts get in the way. With a little spin, they had an excuse.
So, I was demoted before I could turn in my two weeks notice for the job I already had lined up. And it pissed me off that I couldn't just tell them I'm leaving, but the ice cream company told me not to. Not four days after my demotion, the result came back and I was allowed to put in my notice. Remember all that, because it's important.
I bored you with that to finish this:
Apparently the assistant who had been fired told them about my demotion. But he told them I was demoted, and only after that did I apply for and get the ice cream job. Basically, he told them I only left that company due to my demotion.
So right off the bat during my interview (with a Jackass), the Jackass begins questioning me. Not outright calling me a liar, but slyly alluding to it. He starts like this: "Did you know Assistant Manager now works here? Okay, this interview is not an interrogation, we just want to make sure we hire the right person. Somebody who turned in a accurate resume and application."
So they ask me about my work history. What I did before, what I do now. Usual stuff. But quickly, Jackass starts asking why I left the last company for the ice cream crew. At first, I don't want to sound negative, or like I'm bashing. So I allude to conflicts in personality with management. But he pushes. So I tell him a few things that happened to explain why I left, but tried to candy coat it as more wanting to explore a new opportunity (which was true-I was leaving for more money, better hours, and more chances to grow professionally). But it wasn't good enough. Jackass kept coming back with "Well, I can understand that, kind of. But even that isn't enough to convince me that you left a company after fourteen years just for that. What I want to know is what's the real reason."
I was frustrated internally. It kept coming back to the reason. I wanted an opportunity and the conflict of personality. It was the truth. But Jackass wasn't buying it because they were told different. So finally I said it plainly: "Look, I applied for and got the job with the ice cream company in early December. I couldn't put in my two weeks until the drug test came back. I knew it would come back negative, but couldn't put in my two weeks until it came back. Days before it came back, I was demoted as I said. Once it came back, I put in my two weeks."
Jackass started to tell me that I must have left because of the demotion. It wasn't about the opportunity, but the demotion. "So you get demoted, then find this new job."
"No. I had the job before I was demoted."
"Did they know this?"
"No, Ice Cream asked me to say nothing until the drug test came back."
"Was there concern about the drug test result?"
"No. I've never done any drugs. But until it officially came back, I couldn't say anything."
"So what I'm hearing is you get demoted, than there's this other job and you leave."
"I had the ice cream job lined up weeks before the demotion."
"But they didn't know that. So you got demoted and left. That's why you left the company after fourteen years."
"Let me explain it. I wanted a new opportunity. I applied with the ice cream company early in December. I got that job by mid-December. I had to wait on my drug..."
"I heard you about the test. But what I'm looking at here is you didn't mention that you left the company because of the demotion on your application with us. You put down you wanted a new opportunity, but there's nothing about the demotion causing you to leave."
"Because I left for the opportunity. The demotion came after I had the job."
"But you didn't put in a two weeks notice. Did you even give them two weeks?"
"Yes, of course. I left on very good terms."
"Did you? After the demotion?"
"I would have been leaving anyway."
"But you didn't have this drug test back. So why not just tell them before they demote you?"
"Until the ice cream company had the official report back, they asked me to remain silent about leaving."
"I don't understand that. If I'm leaving for a better opportunity, I would tell somebody. To leave after a demotion and say that wasn't the reason doesn't really make sense to me."
At which point, I knew it wasn't looking good. So I laid it out (calmly). "It would have been great to just say here's my two weeks before they demoted me, but I was asked not to by the ice cream company."
"Okay, all right. So there's that discrepancy on the application. That's what we'd heard." After a second of shuffling papers. "Any questions for us?"
Now, I had come in with over fifteen questions. I had major doubts about getting the job after the whole reason for leaving debacle. But I thought this might be a chance to redeem myself. Maybe nudge open the door again.
So I asked two questions. Jackass quickly answers them in the most generic way possible. Then he says "One last question. Give me your best one."
So I ask my grand finale question. And he takes roughly three seconds to answer before jumping up and giving me the "We'll be in touch next week if we want to have a final interview".
So I leave pissed off. Because I didn't lie on the resume. I didn't lie during the interview. I stuck with the facts about the whole thing, but Jackass didn't care. He had been told something by the Assistant who stole money and believed it no matter what.
Pissed at myself for sitting there letting them interrogate me like that. Well, letting him. The lady who did the first interview never spoke and rarely even looked at me. Not sure if she felt bad that I was put through this or thought I was such a lying pig that I didn't deserve to be looked at. But I've got a good job now, so I wouldn't have been doing any more damage than had already been done, so I should have told them that nobody calls me a liar and walked out. But I sat there and took it for forty minutes.
Pissed that a excellent job opportunity was gone over a bullshit lie. Besides a step up the ladder with a growing company (different from my current employer), the pay is almost double what I make now. I could do the job described to me in the first interview with my eyes closed. And I would be damn good at it.
But that's all gone now, because somebody I haven't even spoken to in three years decided to trash me, and his word is apparently better than mine.
So it wasn't a great day.
It usually takes a lot to piss me off, but today it happened. And what was a good shot at a great job just eight days ago is now a bad memory to share with people who ask "How'd that interview go?"
Be seeing you.
WHAT I'M READING: The dull McCain book still holds me captive, but luckily it's due back tomorrow so I'll be rid of it. It's like a spell, really.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: X-Files with no lights on. Euro 2008 as it heads to the quarter-finals. Plus, I got "No Country for Old Men" for Father's Day so I want to watch it soon. Way too late to be seeing last year' s Best Picture.
HOPE everybody had a great Father's Day. Mine was excellent. Morning with the boys and wife, afternoon with the in-laws up North. A wonderful dinner, some time at a brand new park, and gorgeous weather. It was good.
Today, not as such.
Had my second interview. I touched on it briefly last time, thinking it might be exciting news. But as the good book says "We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us." See, it's with this company. First interview went well. Not great, but I'm never a great interview. But good. This time, I was more prepared than ever before. I had notes written down, questions written out. My wife did internet research on the company. I was prepared to rock this bitch.
It went downhill quickly. The lady I interviewed with last time was there, but so was some guy. Maybe her boss. Not sure. They sat me down across from both of them. He smiled and said it wasn't an interrogation. Then he spent the next forty-five minutes interrogating me. Short of the waterboarding, it was as close to Gitmo as I'll get in this lifetime.
See, somebody who once was the assistant manager at a store I worked for long ago apparently also works at this company. And apparently he didn't speak highly of me. I can only think of one real reason why, since we were always on good terms. He had been fired from that old company shortly after I left for stealing money from the cash drawers. I think maybe he didn't want me there to rat him out, as I can't believe they would have hired him if he told them what he did.
I'll break it down. At that job, I was the third shift manager. I was okay. Not great. I didn't love the job, but I did it. Unfortunately, I was caught between two bosses. One was the grocery manager, who was my direct boss. The other was the store manager, boss of all. They didn't like each other. They also constantly gave me conflicting orders. The grocery manager would tell me one thing. I'd have my guys and I do it. The store manager would get mad and tell me off. So I'd do it his way next time. The grocery manager would get mad and tell me off. I'd explain "Well, the Store Manager told me to do it this way." That would just get me chewed out, because it was his grocery department. I'd tell the store manager "Well, the Grocery Manager told me to do this" and I'd get yelled at that it was his store. No win.
After a few lies from the store manager (various, some about pay, some about shifts), I got fed up. Around Thanksgiving, I got so sick I couldn't leave the bathroom for hours. When I called off, both told me I showed a lack of commitment and was nothing but a disappointment to the company for letting my team down. That my team didn't care was beside the point. I was told to get the holiday backstock out of the backroom in two days or I'd be fired. My crew and I did it. I was proud of them. But behind my back, my assistant was being told that he'd have my job soon anyway, because they were going to find some reason to get rid of me. Nice way to run a business, huh?
So in December I put in for a job with a certain ice cream company. I got interviewed. I got the job, pending a drug test. Now, I don't do drugs. Ever. Not so much as even smoking once in my life. So I knew I would pass it. But the ice cream company told me not to put in my notice until they had an official negative drug test. So I didn't. I told my crew, but nobody else. Being the holiday season, it took an abnormally long time to get that drug test result back.
During that long wait, the store manager decided to demote me. Now, they gave me a few different reasons, all of which were not quite accurate. For example, in order to shut up the whining one night, I told my crew that possibly if we did job A, we wouldn't have to do job B. I planned to do both, but at four in the morning you say a lot of things to shut up whining and get guys working. We did job A. It was close to the end of the shift. We were told we could leave before finishing job B.
Now, in the demotion meeting, it became a little less positive. They claimed I had told my crew that we would do job A and leave job B for the day crew. Not what I said. Especially when you consider we actually started job B and were told to leave before finishing it. But they didn't let those facts get in the way. With a little spin, they had an excuse.
So, I was demoted before I could turn in my two weeks notice for the job I already had lined up. And it pissed me off that I couldn't just tell them I'm leaving, but the ice cream company told me not to. Not four days after my demotion, the result came back and I was allowed to put in my notice. Remember all that, because it's important.
I bored you with that to finish this:
Apparently the assistant who had been fired told them about my demotion. But he told them I was demoted, and only after that did I apply for and get the ice cream job. Basically, he told them I only left that company due to my demotion.
So right off the bat during my interview (with a Jackass), the Jackass begins questioning me. Not outright calling me a liar, but slyly alluding to it. He starts like this: "Did you know Assistant Manager now works here? Okay, this interview is not an interrogation, we just want to make sure we hire the right person. Somebody who turned in a accurate resume and application."
So they ask me about my work history. What I did before, what I do now. Usual stuff. But quickly, Jackass starts asking why I left the last company for the ice cream crew. At first, I don't want to sound negative, or like I'm bashing. So I allude to conflicts in personality with management. But he pushes. So I tell him a few things that happened to explain why I left, but tried to candy coat it as more wanting to explore a new opportunity (which was true-I was leaving for more money, better hours, and more chances to grow professionally). But it wasn't good enough. Jackass kept coming back with "Well, I can understand that, kind of. But even that isn't enough to convince me that you left a company after fourteen years just for that. What I want to know is what's the real reason."
I was frustrated internally. It kept coming back to the reason. I wanted an opportunity and the conflict of personality. It was the truth. But Jackass wasn't buying it because they were told different. So finally I said it plainly: "Look, I applied for and got the job with the ice cream company in early December. I couldn't put in my two weeks until the drug test came back. I knew it would come back negative, but couldn't put in my two weeks until it came back. Days before it came back, I was demoted as I said. Once it came back, I put in my two weeks."
Jackass started to tell me that I must have left because of the demotion. It wasn't about the opportunity, but the demotion. "So you get demoted, then find this new job."
"No. I had the job before I was demoted."
"Did they know this?"
"No, Ice Cream asked me to say nothing until the drug test came back."
"Was there concern about the drug test result?"
"No. I've never done any drugs. But until it officially came back, I couldn't say anything."
"So what I'm hearing is you get demoted, than there's this other job and you leave."
"I had the ice cream job lined up weeks before the demotion."
"But they didn't know that. So you got demoted and left. That's why you left the company after fourteen years."
"Let me explain it. I wanted a new opportunity. I applied with the ice cream company early in December. I got that job by mid-December. I had to wait on my drug..."
"I heard you about the test. But what I'm looking at here is you didn't mention that you left the company because of the demotion on your application with us. You put down you wanted a new opportunity, but there's nothing about the demotion causing you to leave."
"Because I left for the opportunity. The demotion came after I had the job."
"But you didn't put in a two weeks notice. Did you even give them two weeks?"
"Yes, of course. I left on very good terms."
"Did you? After the demotion?"
"I would have been leaving anyway."
"But you didn't have this drug test back. So why not just tell them before they demote you?"
"Until the ice cream company had the official report back, they asked me to remain silent about leaving."
"I don't understand that. If I'm leaving for a better opportunity, I would tell somebody. To leave after a demotion and say that wasn't the reason doesn't really make sense to me."
At which point, I knew it wasn't looking good. So I laid it out (calmly). "It would have been great to just say here's my two weeks before they demoted me, but I was asked not to by the ice cream company."
"Okay, all right. So there's that discrepancy on the application. That's what we'd heard." After a second of shuffling papers. "Any questions for us?"
Now, I had come in with over fifteen questions. I had major doubts about getting the job after the whole reason for leaving debacle. But I thought this might be a chance to redeem myself. Maybe nudge open the door again.
So I asked two questions. Jackass quickly answers them in the most generic way possible. Then he says "One last question. Give me your best one."
So I ask my grand finale question. And he takes roughly three seconds to answer before jumping up and giving me the "We'll be in touch next week if we want to have a final interview".
So I leave pissed off. Because I didn't lie on the resume. I didn't lie during the interview. I stuck with the facts about the whole thing, but Jackass didn't care. He had been told something by the Assistant who stole money and believed it no matter what.
Pissed at myself for sitting there letting them interrogate me like that. Well, letting him. The lady who did the first interview never spoke and rarely even looked at me. Not sure if she felt bad that I was put through this or thought I was such a lying pig that I didn't deserve to be looked at. But I've got a good job now, so I wouldn't have been doing any more damage than had already been done, so I should have told them that nobody calls me a liar and walked out. But I sat there and took it for forty minutes.
Pissed that a excellent job opportunity was gone over a bullshit lie. Besides a step up the ladder with a growing company (different from my current employer), the pay is almost double what I make now. I could do the job described to me in the first interview with my eyes closed. And I would be damn good at it.
But that's all gone now, because somebody I haven't even spoken to in three years decided to trash me, and his word is apparently better than mine.
So it wasn't a great day.
It usually takes a lot to piss me off, but today it happened. And what was a good shot at a great job just eight days ago is now a bad memory to share with people who ask "How'd that interview go?"
Be seeing you.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
A Do-Over
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A whole bunch of a mix-CD I made, trying to work up the energy to start writing a new script. Also, still hooked on the soundtrack to The Fountain. And, with my boy, a CD containing a whole mess of theme songs from past cartoons, including the immortal "Gigantor" theme song (imagine off-key druids pounding out Gigantor to a completely separate score in really deep voices) and a version of Popeye that will make you want to punch an old lady in the gut it's so god-awful bad. Picture the already talentless Sailor Man himself belching out (and holding for maximum effect) the words "Sailor Man" so that it lasts well north of two minutes. Next time I hear it, I'm driving my car into the nearest lake and putting my ears out of their misery.
WHAT I'M READING: Just finished the FourFourTwo preview of Euro 2008. Now back to a rather bland little piece called "Free Ride" detailing how the media gives McCain a...well, free ride. I'm almost putting myself to sleep talking about it. Not a great entertainment, but I haven't had the chance to get back to the library.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Euro 2008, it goes without saying. Though not every single game. Just too much on my paper plate to devote four hours every day for over two weeks to the beautiful game. I also just started X-Files Season Four before the tournament began. Not to mention (even though I am) that I'm still working through my list of 2007 films for the only awards that make the MTV Movie Awards seem prestigious...The Jeff Awards! We got HBO a few weeks back, so I just completed all seven parts of the John Adams miniseries. Very good, with wonderful acting. But parts seemed rushed. When you can boil our whole second presidency down to one 70-minute show, it hurts the overall production. Awesome theme song though.
WELL, I've finally made it back here to update. You may notice a few minor changes. Dung! is being rebooted, thus a new title up above (g'head, check it out). I'm keeping the one feature that people actually seem to enjoy (the details of my entertainment) and shucking the rest. Nobody really gives a rat's dick about the Direct Kick challenge. I can see all my faithful readers now, sprinting over to the computer, cursing themselves for not shilling out for the hi-speed service as they wait to log on, and gleefully sliding the mouse through their "Favorites" bar looking for the link to take them here to read how many soccer games I watched on which channel. People with no lives would call you a loser for that. So it's gone.
Also done is the Dung Challenge Cup. My wife was whuppin' my ass every single week. At the time of halting it, she had a near-insermountable 512 point lead. That's right. Even if I guessed every game right and she got them all wrong for the next half-century PLUS I doubled down on Final Jeopardy, I still couldn't catch up.
A wise man knows when he's beaten, and concedes. A quitter tosses in the towel two months into the contest. There may be no "i" in team, but there is one in "quit", so that's what I'm doing.
Congrats honey. You kicked my sorry pock-marked ass. Kudos to you, ma'am.
What the new Dung! will be is what it should have remained all along. Random thoughts and ideas springing from my head. A place to pretend people actually care what a moron on the other side of the internet thinks. A place to fool myself into thinking I actually matter on this great world wide web.
So here are some random thoughts buzzing through my head lately.
1. Father's Day is coming up. I look forward to spending it with my two boys. I originally typed my two sons, but the ghost of Fred MacMurray creeped up behind me and hit me with a steaming stack o' slapcakes.
To create more time for visiting fathers in Michigan this week, last Sunday we went to the cemetary to say hi to my dad. It's been over nine years now. I have trouble remembering what he sounded like sometimes. I'm ashamed to admit that I forgot his birthday this year until late that night. I still love him, but unfortunately life keeps moving on. My three-year-old is still too young to fully grasp it all. I explain that my daddy just got so sick that the doctor couldn't help him anymore, and he passed away. I tell him that my daddy is now buried under the ground by that headstone. I explain that it's kinda like he fell asleep and will never wake up. But it's tough for a young guy to understand. He wants to know why we can't see him.
Even worse, he got very scared to be near the grave. It took a lot to calm him down enough for a picture by the headstone. And that night, while tucking him in, he asked if I would keep people from breaking in. I told him not to worry, of course daddy wouldn't let people break in. Jude then told me he didn't want my dad to dig out of his grave and break into our house.
Sad that my father is nothing more than a ghoul from a horror film to his grandchild. I don't blame Jude for this. It's very confusing and I can see how it could be scary. But it does hurt a bit that he never got to meet his grandfather. My dad didn't live long enough to see my two boys, or even my wife.
So I'll celebrate being a daddy this week, because I've got two incredible kids. But I'm also going to feel the pain of not having my own dad to honor. I love him, and I miss him, very much. So make sure you spend some time with your dads.
2. Won't go into too many details, but there might be some very exciting news soon on the job front.
3. Joined a gym this week. Back in January 2005 I weighed in at 185, which was my normal weight. Never got much above or under that since high school. January 2008, I was up to 220. I dislike seeing myself in the mirror. I'm not super fat, but I'm bigger than I should be, or want to be. So I'm getting back into working out. I had a gym membership back in 1998-2000. I loved it actually. Working out gives me a natural high, and I don't even have to end up rolled up into a rug in front of a hospital (get that reference, bitches!)
Today I went for the second time. Hit the treadmill for 20 minutes, getting in a good three miles according to the machine. After that, I got onto the stationery bike. Another fifteen minutes, another five miles. I was sweating, breathing heavy, and pulling the bike seat out of my ass (in case you care, it took four minutes, three guys, and a crowbar). But I felt great. Plus, they have showers there just like high school. Well, almost. In high school it was a long corridor with shower heads spraying down from either side every two feet, and you walked single file behind your classmates, eyes glued to the ceiling like some freakish human car wash. This is a single person shower.
I love it. I'm sore right now, but feeling good. And even if I only drop down to 210, I'll be happy.
That's all I got for now. But I'm really going to try to keep updating the new Dung! version 2.0 far more often. Less inanity, more posts. Shorter posts, but more frequent.
Thanks for sticking around. And to steal a phrase from myself, that I stole from M9's John Drake (or #6 if you prefer):
Be Seeing You.
3.
WHAT I'M READING: Just finished the FourFourTwo preview of Euro 2008. Now back to a rather bland little piece called "Free Ride" detailing how the media gives McCain a...well, free ride. I'm almost putting myself to sleep talking about it. Not a great entertainment, but I haven't had the chance to get back to the library.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Euro 2008, it goes without saying. Though not every single game. Just too much on my paper plate to devote four hours every day for over two weeks to the beautiful game. I also just started X-Files Season Four before the tournament began. Not to mention (even though I am) that I'm still working through my list of 2007 films for the only awards that make the MTV Movie Awards seem prestigious...The Jeff Awards! We got HBO a few weeks back, so I just completed all seven parts of the John Adams miniseries. Very good, with wonderful acting. But parts seemed rushed. When you can boil our whole second presidency down to one 70-minute show, it hurts the overall production. Awesome theme song though.
WELL, I've finally made it back here to update. You may notice a few minor changes. Dung! is being rebooted, thus a new title up above (g'head, check it out). I'm keeping the one feature that people actually seem to enjoy (the details of my entertainment) and shucking the rest. Nobody really gives a rat's dick about the Direct Kick challenge. I can see all my faithful readers now, sprinting over to the computer, cursing themselves for not shilling out for the hi-speed service as they wait to log on, and gleefully sliding the mouse through their "Favorites" bar looking for the link to take them here to read how many soccer games I watched on which channel. People with no lives would call you a loser for that. So it's gone.
Also done is the Dung Challenge Cup. My wife was whuppin' my ass every single week. At the time of halting it, she had a near-insermountable 512 point lead. That's right. Even if I guessed every game right and she got them all wrong for the next half-century PLUS I doubled down on Final Jeopardy, I still couldn't catch up.
A wise man knows when he's beaten, and concedes. A quitter tosses in the towel two months into the contest. There may be no "i" in team, but there is one in "quit", so that's what I'm doing.
Congrats honey. You kicked my sorry pock-marked ass. Kudos to you, ma'am.
What the new Dung! will be is what it should have remained all along. Random thoughts and ideas springing from my head. A place to pretend people actually care what a moron on the other side of the internet thinks. A place to fool myself into thinking I actually matter on this great world wide web.
So here are some random thoughts buzzing through my head lately.
1. Father's Day is coming up. I look forward to spending it with my two boys. I originally typed my two sons, but the ghost of Fred MacMurray creeped up behind me and hit me with a steaming stack o' slapcakes.
To create more time for visiting fathers in Michigan this week, last Sunday we went to the cemetary to say hi to my dad. It's been over nine years now. I have trouble remembering what he sounded like sometimes. I'm ashamed to admit that I forgot his birthday this year until late that night. I still love him, but unfortunately life keeps moving on. My three-year-old is still too young to fully grasp it all. I explain that my daddy just got so sick that the doctor couldn't help him anymore, and he passed away. I tell him that my daddy is now buried under the ground by that headstone. I explain that it's kinda like he fell asleep and will never wake up. But it's tough for a young guy to understand. He wants to know why we can't see him.
Even worse, he got very scared to be near the grave. It took a lot to calm him down enough for a picture by the headstone. And that night, while tucking him in, he asked if I would keep people from breaking in. I told him not to worry, of course daddy wouldn't let people break in. Jude then told me he didn't want my dad to dig out of his grave and break into our house.
Sad that my father is nothing more than a ghoul from a horror film to his grandchild. I don't blame Jude for this. It's very confusing and I can see how it could be scary. But it does hurt a bit that he never got to meet his grandfather. My dad didn't live long enough to see my two boys, or even my wife.
So I'll celebrate being a daddy this week, because I've got two incredible kids. But I'm also going to feel the pain of not having my own dad to honor. I love him, and I miss him, very much. So make sure you spend some time with your dads.
2. Won't go into too many details, but there might be some very exciting news soon on the job front.
3. Joined a gym this week. Back in January 2005 I weighed in at 185, which was my normal weight. Never got much above or under that since high school. January 2008, I was up to 220. I dislike seeing myself in the mirror. I'm not super fat, but I'm bigger than I should be, or want to be. So I'm getting back into working out. I had a gym membership back in 1998-2000. I loved it actually. Working out gives me a natural high, and I don't even have to end up rolled up into a rug in front of a hospital (get that reference, bitches!)
Today I went for the second time. Hit the treadmill for 20 minutes, getting in a good three miles according to the machine. After that, I got onto the stationery bike. Another fifteen minutes, another five miles. I was sweating, breathing heavy, and pulling the bike seat out of my ass (in case you care, it took four minutes, three guys, and a crowbar). But I felt great. Plus, they have showers there just like high school. Well, almost. In high school it was a long corridor with shower heads spraying down from either side every two feet, and you walked single file behind your classmates, eyes glued to the ceiling like some freakish human car wash. This is a single person shower.
I love it. I'm sore right now, but feeling good. And even if I only drop down to 210, I'll be happy.
That's all I got for now. But I'm really going to try to keep updating the new Dung! version 2.0 far more often. Less inanity, more posts. Shorter posts, but more frequent.
Thanks for sticking around. And to steal a phrase from myself, that I stole from M9's John Drake (or #6 if you prefer):
Be Seeing You.
3.
Friday, May 2, 2008
My Wife Is Whupping My Ass
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Some Spongebob CD, and a lot of burned CD's.
WHAT I'M READING: I'm into a book by David Frost on the Nixon/Frost TV programs.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Soccer, of course, and a lot of movies this week. Just finished up There Will Be Blood, which is awesome.
SO for those keeping track, here are the latest Dung Challenge Cup standings as of today. Before you read and laugh, know that this is my weekend.
Barefoot Adult W D L Pts
17 7 12 58
DungMaster 9 7 20 34
A mere twenty-four points back early in the season. She's kicking my arse!
SUMMER MOVIE SEASON is upon us. The only films I'm really stoked about are The Dark Knight and the X-Files film, although I will be taking the wife to the Sex and the City movie, since she is a big fan. It should be good. There are many others I have a mild interest in, but those three are on the list of must-see.
THE DIRECT KICK CHALLENGE
Got to keep up with this for the 2008 season. Remember, I paid 79 bucks for the Direct Kick package, the greatest bargain in sports. All year long, we'll figure out just how much I'm spending per game.
ABC-0
ESPN2-5
Fox Soccer-5
Direct Kick-15
So that's 79 bucks for 15 games thus far, or $5.27 per game.
That's all for now, as I must go cry.
Be Seeing You.
WHAT I'M READING: I'm into a book by David Frost on the Nixon/Frost TV programs.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Soccer, of course, and a lot of movies this week. Just finished up There Will Be Blood, which is awesome.
SO for those keeping track, here are the latest Dung Challenge Cup standings as of today. Before you read and laugh, know that this is my weekend.
Barefoot Adult W D L Pts
17 7 12 58
DungMaster 9 7 20 34
A mere twenty-four points back early in the season. She's kicking my arse!
SUMMER MOVIE SEASON is upon us. The only films I'm really stoked about are The Dark Knight and the X-Files film, although I will be taking the wife to the Sex and the City movie, since she is a big fan. It should be good. There are many others I have a mild interest in, but those three are on the list of must-see.
THE DIRECT KICK CHALLENGE
Got to keep up with this for the 2008 season. Remember, I paid 79 bucks for the Direct Kick package, the greatest bargain in sports. All year long, we'll figure out just how much I'm spending per game.
ABC-0
ESPN2-5
Fox Soccer-5
Direct Kick-15
So that's 79 bucks for 15 games thus far, or $5.27 per game.
That's all for now, as I must go cry.
Be Seeing You.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Dung Challenge Cup Week Two
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A friend gave me some compilation CD's he burned of his "Best of..." for years 2005 and 2006 in music. Some good stuff.
WHAT I'M READING: Grand Theft Jesus. Damn Good Book.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Watched Sunshine the other day in my Jeff Award's List quest. Pretty darn good sci-fi film. Plus, MLS action!
SO the Dung Challenge Cup continues to roll on. Thus far, my pretty wife, Barefoot Adult, is whupping the ole Dungmaster's booty.
Here's the standings after the first two weeks of the MLS season.
Dungmaster----4W 3D 7L 15 points
Barefoot Adult----7W 3D 4L 24 points
It's still early, and we're working through this weekend's results so I will come back and claim glorious victory.
But right now, the expert is losing to the novice. And I can't deny that it hurts a bit in the ole pride.
Revenge will be mine! And as Khan taught me, revenge is a dish best served cold, and space is very, very cold my friend.
Be seeing you.
WHAT I'M READING: Grand Theft Jesus. Damn Good Book.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Watched Sunshine the other day in my Jeff Award's List quest. Pretty darn good sci-fi film. Plus, MLS action!
SO the Dung Challenge Cup continues to roll on. Thus far, my pretty wife, Barefoot Adult, is whupping the ole Dungmaster's booty.
Here's the standings after the first two weeks of the MLS season.
Dungmaster----4W 3D 7L 15 points
Barefoot Adult----7W 3D 4L 24 points
It's still early, and we're working through this weekend's results so I will come back and claim glorious victory.
But right now, the expert is losing to the novice. And I can't deny that it hurts a bit in the ole pride.
Revenge will be mine! And as Khan taught me, revenge is a dish best served cold, and space is very, very cold my friend.
Be seeing you.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Introducing the Dung Challenge Cup!
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A awesome Tom Waits tune called "Never Let Go" and some old school New Order, especially "Ceremony".
WHAT I'M READING: Newest issue of MajorLeagueSoccer magazine. Just finished up a book on the Fairtax.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Just finished the Honeymooners box set, and of course soccer. Manchester United chasing a repeat in England, and MLS just kicked off.
A QUICK POST to introduce a new feature to the blog this year, called the Dung Challenge Cup.
My beautiful wife (Barefoot Adult) and I will be predicting the MLS games all season long to see who's better at it, the diehard fan (me) or the layman (her).
The rules are simple. Each game, we must both pick a winner. If you choose correctly, you get three points. If you are incorrect, you get zero points. If the game ends in a draw, you get one point. Winner is the person with the most points at the end of the year, and thus the Dung Challenge Cup champion.
Here's the standings after the opening weekend.
Dungmaster W-1 D-2 L-5 5 points
Barefoot Adult W-4 D-2 L-2 14 points
She takes an early lead, but the season is just starting!
Be seeing you.
WHAT I'M READING: Newest issue of MajorLeagueSoccer magazine. Just finished up a book on the Fairtax.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Just finished the Honeymooners box set, and of course soccer. Manchester United chasing a repeat in England, and MLS just kicked off.
A QUICK POST to introduce a new feature to the blog this year, called the Dung Challenge Cup.
My beautiful wife (Barefoot Adult) and I will be predicting the MLS games all season long to see who's better at it, the diehard fan (me) or the layman (her).
The rules are simple. Each game, we must both pick a winner. If you choose correctly, you get three points. If you are incorrect, you get zero points. If the game ends in a draw, you get one point. Winner is the person with the most points at the end of the year, and thus the Dung Challenge Cup champion.
Here's the standings after the opening weekend.
Dungmaster W-1 D-2 L-5 5 points
Barefoot Adult W-4 D-2 L-2 14 points
She takes an early lead, but the season is just starting!
Be seeing you.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The Annual MLS Predictions (and other stuff)
WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A bit o' Sinead O'Connor, because nothing compares 2 her. Also, a Spongebob Squarepants CD, with a surprisingly moving tune called "Gary's Song".
WHAT I'M READING: Predictably Irrational, which is interesting. You wanna cry, go read Where Does Your Money Go, which I just did. Scary stuff that government.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Working my way through the 39 episodes of The Honeymooners, and prepping for the start of MLS Season Thirteen!
THE OSCAR PREDICTIONS:
Guess it has been awhile since I blogged. One of my last blogs was my annual Oscar predicts. Let's see how I did: I guessed fifteen correct out of the 24, so not all that great. What do I know?
On to more important matters!
THE 2nd ANNUAL DUNG! MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER PREDICTIONS
Always fun to guess how the season will turn out. Never fun to look back and see how poorly I guessed. But here's how I see it shaping up this year.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. DC United
2. Chicago Fire
3. New England Revolution
4. Kansas City Wizards
5. New York Red Bulls
6. Toronto FC
7. Columbus Crew
Hard to say really, as all teams have made changes. DC brought in a lot of South American talent, and I think they'll gel and turn up the heat come the summer months. I think those top five will make the playoffs.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. Houston Dynamo
2. Los Angeles Galaxy
3. FC Dallas
4. Club Deportivo Chivas USA
5. Real Salt Lake
6. Colorado Rapids
7. San Jose Earthquakes
I see the Dynamo running away with this one, and most likely the Supporters Shield. L.A. will be a distant second, but I think Beckham's second year will be better. With Becks, Donovan, and Carlos Ruiz, there is no excuse to not make the playoffs. Though I will be shocked if Ruud Gullitt is still in LA come December as the coach. Chivas USA will just miss the playoffs, and I think RSL will push for a spot this year. I don't see much out of the expansion(returning) Quakes. Haven't been impressed with the players they've got so far. Colorado will be happy San Jose returned, or else they'd be propping up the league.
Top two in each conference make the playoffs, plus the next best four. So I see it:
EASTERN CONFERENCE: DC United, Chicago Fire
WESTERN CONFERENCE: Houston Dynamo, Los Angeles Galaxy
NEXT BEST FIVE: New England Revolution, Kansas City Wizards, FC Dallas, and New York Red Bulls.
PLAYOFFS-EAST
1. DC United v. Kansas City Wizards
2. Chicago Fire v. New England Revolution
CONFERENCE FINAL
1. DC United v. Chicago Fire
PLAYOFFS-WEST
1. Houston Dynamo v. New York Red Bulls
2. Los Angeles Galaxy v. FC Dallas
CONFERENCE FINAL
1. Houston Dynamo v. FC Dallas
MLS CUP 2008
Chicago Fire v. Houston Dynamo
MLS CHAMPIONS: Houston Dynamo
That's right. I'm calling for the three-peat. Never been done before, but Houston are a rock solid club. They will need to find scoring replacements for Nate Jaqua and Joseph Ngwenya, but I think the midfield will help out there.
Just for fun, US OPEN CUP CHAMPIONS: Kansas City Wizards
That's how I see it happening. And as you can see from my Oscar picks, you don't want to trust me too much here.
Season kicks off March 29th. I'll be there, having already renewed my Direct Kick sports package for the fourth year in a row, plus tossing Fox Soccer Channel back onto the satellite. I'll be keeping track of my Direct Kick viewings just to see what a bargain it is again.
Be seeing you.
WHAT I'M READING: Predictably Irrational, which is interesting. You wanna cry, go read Where Does Your Money Go, which I just did. Scary stuff that government.
WHAT I'M WATCHING: Working my way through the 39 episodes of The Honeymooners, and prepping for the start of MLS Season Thirteen!
THE OSCAR PREDICTIONS:
Guess it has been awhile since I blogged. One of my last blogs was my annual Oscar predicts. Let's see how I did: I guessed fifteen correct out of the 24, so not all that great. What do I know?
On to more important matters!
THE 2nd ANNUAL DUNG! MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER PREDICTIONS
Always fun to guess how the season will turn out. Never fun to look back and see how poorly I guessed. But here's how I see it shaping up this year.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. DC United
2. Chicago Fire
3. New England Revolution
4. Kansas City Wizards
5. New York Red Bulls
6. Toronto FC
7. Columbus Crew
Hard to say really, as all teams have made changes. DC brought in a lot of South American talent, and I think they'll gel and turn up the heat come the summer months. I think those top five will make the playoffs.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. Houston Dynamo
2. Los Angeles Galaxy
3. FC Dallas
4. Club Deportivo Chivas USA
5. Real Salt Lake
6. Colorado Rapids
7. San Jose Earthquakes
I see the Dynamo running away with this one, and most likely the Supporters Shield. L.A. will be a distant second, but I think Beckham's second year will be better. With Becks, Donovan, and Carlos Ruiz, there is no excuse to not make the playoffs. Though I will be shocked if Ruud Gullitt is still in LA come December as the coach. Chivas USA will just miss the playoffs, and I think RSL will push for a spot this year. I don't see much out of the expansion(returning) Quakes. Haven't been impressed with the players they've got so far. Colorado will be happy San Jose returned, or else they'd be propping up the league.
Top two in each conference make the playoffs, plus the next best four. So I see it:
EASTERN CONFERENCE: DC United, Chicago Fire
WESTERN CONFERENCE: Houston Dynamo, Los Angeles Galaxy
NEXT BEST FIVE: New England Revolution, Kansas City Wizards, FC Dallas, and New York Red Bulls.
PLAYOFFS-EAST
1. DC United v. Kansas City Wizards
2. Chicago Fire v. New England Revolution
CONFERENCE FINAL
1. DC United v. Chicago Fire
PLAYOFFS-WEST
1. Houston Dynamo v. New York Red Bulls
2. Los Angeles Galaxy v. FC Dallas
CONFERENCE FINAL
1. Houston Dynamo v. FC Dallas
MLS CUP 2008
Chicago Fire v. Houston Dynamo
MLS CHAMPIONS: Houston Dynamo
That's right. I'm calling for the three-peat. Never been done before, but Houston are a rock solid club. They will need to find scoring replacements for Nate Jaqua and Joseph Ngwenya, but I think the midfield will help out there.
Just for fun, US OPEN CUP CHAMPIONS: Kansas City Wizards
That's how I see it happening. And as you can see from my Oscar picks, you don't want to trust me too much here.
Season kicks off March 29th. I'll be there, having already renewed my Direct Kick sports package for the fourth year in a row, plus tossing Fox Soccer Channel back onto the satellite. I'll be keeping track of my Direct Kick viewings just to see what a bargain it is again.
Be seeing you.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
March 1st
Today is my wife's birthday.
So this entire blog, albeit a short one, is completely dedicated to her.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Kimbers.
Happy birthday to you.
One of my top three days of the year. She's simply my love. Everything I hold dear in this world is thanks to her. A beautiful soul, a hot wife, and a incredible mother. I can summarize it up best by quoting a Wilco tune:
I wanna be what you are to me.
Six great years of marriage, two wonderful boys, and a future together that makes my heart dance. Happy birthday, Kimbers.
I love you.
So this entire blog, albeit a short one, is completely dedicated to her.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Kimbers.
Happy birthday to you.
One of my top three days of the year. She's simply my love. Everything I hold dear in this world is thanks to her. A beautiful soul, a hot wife, and a incredible mother. I can summarize it up best by quoting a Wilco tune:
I wanna be what you are to me.
Six great years of marriage, two wonderful boys, and a future together that makes my heart dance. Happy birthday, Kimbers.
I love you.
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