Sunday, July 13, 2008

Hard Wood Floors and Baby Heads: A War of Attrition

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: "Tunnels" by Arcade Fire is one hell of an awesome song.

WHAT I'M READING: Same damn book. It's good, but it's also over 400 pages. And I do all of my reading these days on the toilet, so it takes awhile.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: Tonight, it will be a documentary called "Crazy Love".

SO back in late April my mother-in-law talked us into tearing our carpet out and sticking with the loverly hardwood floors. They are beautiful.

The only problem is we have a nine month old baby. And this baby is reckless, like his older brother. He's also just learning to crawl. And his sitting is still in the rookie stages.

A dangerous combo.

Last week, he was trying to crawl. Head just two or three inches off the floor. And he dipped his head down, colliding with the hardwood floor.

It wasn't the first time, but it was the worst. Because while his mother held him for comfort, I could see his little face over her shoulder. It was one of the scariest moments ever. Because he was out of it for three seconds. Punch drunk. I've watched enough boxing and MMA to see fighters who take that hard blow to the head and are out of it. My little boy was out of it. For that brief moment in time, I knew he was going to pass out. I was fearing concussion, or worse. That was the look in his little eyes.

I quickly swooped in, afraid for my boy but also not wanting his mother to see that look. She can't handle her boys in pain. Well, not in pain like that. He snapped back into it shortly after, and finally cried. I was glad to hear those tears.

Since then, he's bopped his head again, in the same spot. So you have a nasty bruise and a nasty bump on top of it. But he keeps plugging along, smiling, and finally yesterday crawling for the first time.

SO here's the big gym schedule I proudly crowed about in my last blog.

1. Treadmill-15 minutes (upping the speed every two minutes)
2. V-Crunches-2 sets of 20 each.
3. Torso Rotation-2 sets 20 each at 70 pounds.
4. Abdominal Isolator-2 sets of 10. First is 70 pounds, second is 80.
5. Abdominal Crunch-2 sets of 10 each. First is 50 pounds, second is 60.
6. Seated Dip-2 sets 10 each. First is 70, second is 80.
7. Bicep Curls-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 95.
8. Shoulder Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 60, second is 70.
9. Pec Fly/Rear Delt-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 90.
10. Vertical Chest Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 80 pounds, second is 90.
11. Pulldown-2 sets 10 each. First is 70 pounds, second is 80.
12. Vertical Row-2 sets 10 each. First is 60, second is 70.
All twelve of my Monday duties, plus
13. Tricep Extension-2 sets 10 each. First is 70 pounds, second is 85.
14. Lateral Raise-2 sets 10 each. First is 50, second is 60.
15. Chest Press-2 sets 10 each. First is 40 pounds each bar, second is 50 pounds each bar. This one you have to adjust weights for both bars.
16. MTS Row-2 sets 10 each. First is 40 on each bar. Second is 50 on each bar.
17. Leg Lift-2 sets 10 each. First is 100 pounds, second is 120.
18. Another turn on treadmill for ten minutes.
I do the first five from Monday to get the gut down. Then I do #13, #6,#7,#14,#15,#10 and #16.

So there you have it. The weights are not much right now, because I'm just starting out. But they'll be moving up every two weeks. And one day, I'll be in shape again.


Be Seeing You.

Friday, July 11, 2008

This is Amazing

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Have you heard "Cheated Hearts" by Yeah Yeah Yeah's? I have.

WHAT I'M READING: Still plowing through that book on the 9/11 Commission. Good shit.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: More 2007 films, such as Superbad and Diving Bell & the Butterfly. Good stuff. Plus the Superclassico betwixt Los Angeles Galaxy and CD Chivas USA.

SO it's been a week since the holiday. Hope everybody enjoyed their Fourth. Did get to hear a pretty big firework display late that night, so all is well.

A better week this week. Got back into the gym. Finally worked out a weekly schedule for myself, which I will be posting next time. Right now it's in my gym bag, which is in the bedroom, in which the lovely Barefoot Adult is snoozing. But I'm happy with it, and very glad to get back into my gym routine after a week off. Went all three times, which is good.

Things are starting to heat up in the Summer of 2008. We've been getting into the pool quite frequently lately. Jude is loving it, and Sullivan appears to like the water too. He smiles as he kicks his legs and splashes his hands. Daddy enjoys keeping it clean.

See, the ole Dungmaster is a clean freak. Anal about it, even. I can't just let a dirty situation go. Dirty clothes must be washed now. Tonight. Not tomorrow, or next time. Dirty dishes cannot sit in the sink overnight. I don't care if I have to wash dishes at eleven in the P.M. and am folding a load of laundry while starting another load at midnight thirty. Same goes with picking up the house. No toy can be out of its designated spot after the kid's are in bed.

It's a sickness really. Good for my family because the house is usually clean. But I can be too picky about it sometimes. It's just in my blood. And it's no different in the pool. I see a leaf or a drowned bug float by, and I'm going for the net before you can see "Anal Asshole".

Cleaning is something I'm very good at. Upward mobility in my job is not. I've been doing the same job since I started with Edy's. It's a good job, but not something that brings me great pride. But last week I was shopping with the boys at the local SuperTarget and pointing out to Jude which sections of the ice cream I had filled just two days before. I pointed out the Haagen Dasz door. Jude stared for a moment, than looked at me with his big wide eyes.

"Daddy, this is amazing."

I've rarely in my entire life felt as good as I did right then. It's not a prestige job, and any old fool could do it with minimal effort. But to hear my special boy say that to me was incredible.

IT'S question time, kiddies. Every now and then I just have questions about things in this world. Things that truly stump me. I plan to share some with you, my faithful reader, when I can remember them.

1. How does one get a circle jerk going amongst friends? I can believe two guys hanging out and talking each other into a jerk-off session. It's just two guys who could keep a secret. But how a group of five or more guys can talk themselves into whipping out the cocks and stroking for glory is beyond my comprehension.

2. Why do twenty-year old kids working the frozen department think they know more about running an ice cream business than people who've been doing it globally for decades? I can't believe the amount of times some young punk will gladly reveal to me what my company needs to do different to be better.

3. Speaking of ice cream, it's pronounced E-Dees, people. I am now officially offended by the people who come up and refer to me and my company as "Eddies". There's one friggin' "D", people. "Edy's". I've never met an "Eddy" who spelled his name with one friggin' "D".

4. Why do so many people go bonkers over the Mexican immigrants who don't speak English fluently, yet have no problem with the Amish. I love the Amish myself. But they live here without paying taxes and almost always speak in Dutch, and nobody cares.

That's all I got right now, but more will come to me. This world just confuses me sometimes.

A major event is coming next week. On Friday, in one location will be the internet blogging phenoms from Dung!2, Barefoot Adult, AND Parenthetical. We should all get together and have a blog jerk.

It's late, I'm tired, and the bed is calling my name. Time to get some rest. But I will return soon.

Be Seeing You.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Happy Birthday America!

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A different version of "All Along the Watchtower" by Yul Anderson that I think I like more than either famous version.

WHAT I'M READING: The Commission, about the 9/11 commission.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: Movies, the last of which was the not-so-good "The Kingdom". Also some soccer on the TV.

BUSY week at work. Too damn busy. Got off just before or after five every day. That means I didn't get to the gym one day this week. Also that I had to do my laundry overnight. I hate working way too much. It ruins my schedule.

Nice Fourth of July this year. No fireworks, again. But that's okay. With two small children, we can't stay up that late. My wife's hometown in Southwest Michigan has a great display every year, but it doesn't start until 10:30 or 11 pm. So we haven't seen any major firework displays since 2002. But for me, it's more about spending a nice day off in summer weather with family. We go to my father-in-law's every year and today was no exception. A fun day.

With working so much this week, not much time to organize my thoughts in blog form. So I'll cut it off here and hope to rejoin you next week, buff and ready to go, with clean clothes.

Hope you all had a great Independence Day. Happy Birthday USA.

Be Seeing You.