Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Quest for the Cup Is Here (And I Was Kinda Right For Once!)

EASTERN CONFERENCE#1 DC United v. #4 Chicago Fire#2 New England Revolution v. #3 New York Red Bulls

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL#1 DC United v. #3 New York Red Bulls


WESTERN CONFERENCE#1 Houston Dynamo v. #4 Colorado Rapids#2 Los Angeles Galaxy v. #3 FC Dallas

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINAL#1 Houston Dynamo v. #2 Los Angeles Galaxy

Now, in my original prediction I had this as the MLS Cup final, with the Galaxy winning. However, that was a different situation. I think in a one-off cup final at a neutral spot that the Galaxy would win. But a one-off conference final at the Dynamo's home stadium, I like their chances better.


MLS CUP 2007DC United v. Houston Dynamo

Hate to jinx my club by picking them to win it all (for the fifth time, suckas!), but it's so very hard to repeat in MLS. Only one club has ever done it (hint-same team that will win it in 2007).So there it is. Read it, weep, wipe your eyes, than chuckle at my thinking I can call the MLS Cup final three years in a row.Be seeing you.

The above is copied from my early April blog on MLS Predictions Revisions. I re-post this, because how awesome am I? Way back before the first ball was even kicked, I called the six of the eight playoff clubs, and got the entire Eastern Conference first round correct.

Seeing how awesome I am, it's time to make my playoff predictions. Remember, I have correctly called the MLS Cup finalists the last two years (we won't talk about my picking the winner incorrectly). Here it goes:

DC United v. Chicago Fire
This is a tough one. United comes in having only lost once in fourteen games. They also won the Supporters Shield for the second year in a row (a league first). However, United have always fumbled against the Fire. At MLS Cup 1998, Chicago beat DC two-nil. In the 2003 playoffs, Chicago beat DC two-nil in both legs, for a four-nil aggregate victory. In the 2005 playoffs, Chicago drew DC nil-nil in the first leg, than beat DC four-nil in the second. So in five playoff games, Chicago has beaten DC 10-nil. Chicago has looked good under new coach Osario and star signging Blanco. This will be a interesting series. But in the end, I gotta stay true to my guys.
MY PICK: DC United (I'll say 3-2 on aggregate)

New England Revolution v. New York Red Bulls
Should be good. It would be good for MLS if New York could actually win a playoff series. But I don't see it happening here. Defense is too suspect, and Revs are always tough. Hell, they've been to the Eastern Conference finals the last 5 years in a row! I originally predicted New York to win here, but I'm officially going with...
MY PICK: New England Revolution (I'll say 4-2 on aggregate)

Club Deportivo Chivas USA v. Kansas City Wizards
Chivas USA had a great year, finishing first in the West. Especially when you consider I had them not even making the playoffs. I was wrong. Preki has done a good job as coach and has a very strong, attacking team with perhaps the best goalkeeper in MLS right now in Brad Guzan. KC started strong, but faded around the mid-season. They just made it in on the final game. I like Onalfo, and I like his attacking mindset. This will be, to me, the best first round series. It's tough to call, especially with Chivas losing Ante Razov to a knee injury. There's always one upset in the first round, and I'm taking a shot here.
MY PICK: Kansas City Wizards (I'll say 3-2 on aggregate)

Houston Dynamo v. FC Dallas
The battle of Texas. I don't think it will be close. Dallas looked good at the start, but this team has stumbled lately. Dynamo are the defending champions and have been strong since May. It won't really be close.
MY PICK: Houston Dynamo (I'll say 4-1 on aggregate)

DC United v. New England Revolution
United played strong the entire second half. Revs are always strong. A rematch from last year, at the same site. A great crowd should be enough to help my boys advance. I really don't want the Revs back in MLS Cup, even if they weren't playing DC. Three times they've made it there. All three MLS Cups were nil-nil at the end of regulation (only time it's ever happened; thanks Revs!). All three went deep into stoppage before getting a goal. They just suck the life out of a cup final. I'm backing my club.
MY PICK: DC United (I'll go with 2-1)

Houston Dynamo v. Kansas City Wizards
Interesting. I still think the defending MLS Champions are a strong, safe bet to get back to the big game. KC will prove a challenge, but falter in the end.
MY PICK: Houston Dynamo (I'll go with 2-nil)

MLS CUP 2007
DC United v. Houston Dynamo
A sold-out RFK will be rocking for the homeside. In MLS' entire twelve year history, only two teams have played MLS Cup on their homefield. Revs in 2002 and United in 1997. This is a strong United team, with great fan support. Only one club has ever repeated as MLS Champions (DC, of course, in 1996 & 1997), and I don't see Houston doing it.
MY PICK: DC United (I'll go with 2-1)

There you go. Official picks from the guy with the Midas touch. Remember, last two MLS Cups I called it BEFORE the season even started (Revs v. Houston & Revs v. Galaxy), and this year I did call a United-Dynamo Cup.

Bank on it!

Direct Kick-67

Regular season is now over, but the playoffs are on the way. So, 67 games watched for $79, or $1.18 per game. What a steal!

Be Seeing You.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Two in One!

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: The same. It's only been two hours, people!


WHAT I'M WATCHING: Just finished the Thursday night MLS Primetime game on ESPN2. Great game betwixt New York Red Bulls and Los Angeles Galaxy.

YOU say you love you some movie awards, even ten months past due? Then have I got the thing for you! Check out this link, bitches.

That takes you to my other blog, the even less visited Jeff Awards. What are the Jeff Awards you ask with absolutely no caring in your voice? Well, I love me some movies. And I love movie awards. I also like pizza, soccer, and sex with my wife. But those are all different blogs. Check out these links if that interests you:

(not real blogs)

Every year I compile a list of 100 films to watch from the previous calendar year. I watch the 100 movies, some with the wife. After I've viewed 100 movies (this year it took roughly nine months) I list my Jeff Award nominees on the other blog (g'head, check it out-that baby's collecting dust). I watch the five best films one more time before deciding on the winners. I post them and prove that if a tree falls in the forest nobody will care. Not at all.

But I enjoy it, so there. Besides, it's my blog, and I'm one of the two people on Earth who read it. So 50% of my readers love those darn Jeff Awards.

I haven't actually studied every baby ever, but I'm ready to declare our new son Sullivan the single gasiest baby ever. It seems he's always farting. Much more than Jude did (we had to bribe those farts to make an appearance). He's still cute though.

Because I promised it, and because you don't give a damn, here it is!

Direct Kick-64

So that's 64 games for $79, or $1.23 per game. We are entering the final weekend of the MLS season, and there are some big games on the plate. DC United, Club Deportivo Chivas USA, New England Revolution, Houston Dynamo, New York Red Bulls, and FC Dallas have already qualified. Toronto FC and Real Salt Lake are already out. The final two playoff spots are up for grabs and will be decided by Sunday afternoon. Chicago Fire, Kansas City Wizards, Columbus Crew, Colorado Rapids, and Los Angeles Galaxy are going for them.

It's gonna be good. Four games on the DVR Saturday. Playoffs start next Thursday. DC United have already clinched the Supporter's Shield as the overall points champion this season. First team to do it two years in a row. They've also clinched home field advantage, which is huge. After that first playoff game on the road, they'll be home the rest of the way as long as they are in it, with MLS Cup 2007 being at RFK.

San Jose Earthquakes will be coming back to MLS in 2008, and it looks like Seattle will have a club in 2009. Also seems like Portland and St. Louis are closer to getting into MLS.

Great time to be a fan of Major League Soccer. Potential is there for the best playoffs ever!

Be Seeing You.

Oh, Thank Heaven! Seven-Eleven!

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: A lot of the Wiggles smash CD hit "Wiggly Wiggly World", with an emphasis on the songs "Another Cuppa" and "Six Months on a Leaky Boat". The first being my son's favorite, and the last being my favorite. Yep, I got me a favorite Wiggles tune.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: MLS as the season is winding down into the final weekend. Also, keeping up with my reality shows "The Contender" and "The Ultimate Fighter 6". On the side, a heapin' helpin' of some Noam Chomsky. Plus, I finished those pesky Jeff Awards (I'll post the link elsewhere).

WHAT I'M READING: Thanks to an impatient three year old and the impending closing of the library, I quickly grabbed some books from the classic section. Right now, I'm on "The Plague" by Albert Camus. Pretty good, considering I grabbed and ran for the checkout.

WELL faithful readers (yes, the plural is completely optimistic), major things have prevented me from blogging recently. Let me break it down for you, Dung! style.

It all began a long time ago on a day the calendar likes to call Thursday October 11, 2007. I had literally just finished cooking dinner and was preparing to spoon it lovingly on a plate for my beautiful bride, I heard those three little words every man longs to hear from his sexy wife: "My water broke!"

She stood up, with Niagara Falls between her pregger legs flowing onto our carpet. Number One Son Jude immediately pointed and yelled out "She can drip on the carpet, but I can't color with my crayons on your oh-so-precious carpet, Father?!?"

Okay, that may or may-not have happened. But the water breaking did. Now, my wife is due on November 1st, and we already scheduled the c-section for October 26th, so when she called out my response was "No it didn't!"

But it did. The evidence was too overwhelming. Even the O.J. jury would convict based on it (how's that for most dated reference of any blog this year). So we gathered our things and rushed the lovely wife to the hospital. This was around 7 in the p.m. I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, the baby was coming early.

People with actual medical degrees and stuff confirmed this around 9 pm when they said "We gonna pull that little bugger out ya." I called my mother, who was asleep (although to be fair, she was asleep by seven) and needed to remind her that we had Jude with us, and most likely the doctors would not allow a three year old into the surgery room to watch Mommy get gutted. So they came and took the boy for the night. I called the wife's family up in Michigan. They live an hour away in good weather, and being this is nearly mid-October the snow was surely falling. They outfitted me with some scrubs and a mask that wouldn't stay because the cheap-ass string kept breaking. Then I was hustled into a room just in time to see them tossing my numb-ass wife around like a rag doll (she got the spinal block so as to not feel the pain of being cut open-wussy!). I huddled up close to my pretty girl, mostly to talk to her during the surgery, but also to avoid seeing what her insides look like. At 10:21 in the p.m. they pulled our little son's legs out. At 10:21 and fifteen seconds in the p.m., he pulled the legs back into his mother's warm womb. "It's cold out there, ya stupid bastards!" he shouted.

Okay, that might not be 100% accurate. So they pulled out the boy, and much like his brother Jude before him, the boy entered this world urinating everywhere. After some cleaning, testing, and checking, I was allowed to hold my newborn son.

World, say hello to Sullivan David (last name withheld at baby's request)!

Baby was seven pounds and eleven ounces (hence that clever title) and 20.5 inches long. That made him four ounces and 1/2 and inch bigger than Jude. A beautiful head of hair. A beautiful baby.

So now our two boys are alive and well, and at home.

THE FUTURE. Quit reading now, honey. Okay, for the rest of you (I know, optimistic on my part that I have readers) I have already mapped out one exciting career path for my boys. When they are of age, I shall take them to Mexico where they shall don masks and compete in the lucha libre circuit (that's pro wrestling south of the border) under the names "El Hijo del Manaconda" and "El Hermano del El Hijo del Manaconda". The glory shall be great!

Okay, my lovely wife absolutely hates that idea. So it won't happen. But a man's gotta have a dream (especially when you doze off watching Fox Sports Espanyol and wake up to Mexican wrestling at one in the morning).

THE DIRECT KICK CHALLENGE! will return in the next blog. See, I can't update my records without it spoiling the result of last night's game, so I have to watch the game first.

Be Seeing You.