Saturday, August 11, 2007

You Say It's Your Anniversary (Well, It's My Anniversary Too!)

Today's blog is dedicated exclusively to the Queen of the Dung Heap. No reading, watching, listening. No football. No views and news.

Because today is our special day.

August 11, 2001 was the day that we officially became man and wife. We unofficially became man and wife about a week before we met when I correctly answered a trivia question she e-mailed me. See, she said if I could get that one right, we would head to Vegas. I got it right (Billionaire Boys Club, baby!) and she was endowed to me.

But in reality, we married six years ago today. It was a whirlwind time. We met via the Love@AOL site on December 27, 1999. Had our first date on January 5, 2000 in which we dined at a chinese buffet, enjoyed some Dairy Queen, and went back to her place for a little S&M (that would be sodas and muffins, you pervs). She showed me some T&A (that would be tapes and albums, you pervs). I looked through her album of accomplishments, which was very impressive (married me a smart one!). The next day we headed to the Great White North of Michigan for a comedy night at Chiefs. Friday we took a break, sadly. Saturday we spent some time at my apartment where I made dinner, we watched some Shawshank on TNT (shocking! Shawshank on TNT?), than she got naked and made me keep my clothes on so that I'd have the most incredibly sore balls in Northern Indiana history after she left.

In March I officially moved into her place, because it was a nicer apartment. On July 5th we recreated our first date, only this time instead of T&A (talk and allegory, you pervs), I threw a ring at her and she said yes. Excitedly, she called her mother to tell her, interrupting Survivor.

And on August 11, 2001 we married. A beautiful ceremony in Coloma, Michigan followed by a fun reception in St. Joseph, Michigan. A good time was had by all, especially when they were supposed to not have a good time and shut up to watch our first dance.

It's been a great six years. We bought a house, had a child, got pregnant, watched some movies, and had some crazy S&M (that's sandwiches and milk, you pervs).

And today we celebrate our holy matrimony, flush with pride that those nasty homosexuals can't ruin the institution by participating in it (sarcasm alert. sarcasm alert.)

I love my wife. She puts up with a lot that others wouldn't. Such as my stupidity, silly songs, five years of burnt food on the grill, and soccer out the yanghole. But she's the perfect wife for me, and I'm blessed to have her.

Happy Anniversary, Kimbers. Love you.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Anybody Ready For Some Football? (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Be Wrong)

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: The awesome soundtrack to "Requiem for a Dream". Me love me some Kronos Quartet.

WHAT I'M READING: The Agenda by Bob Woodward, on the first year of Clinton in office.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: Last night it was "The Queen". Pretty darn good stuff. Mirren deserved that Oscar, though I cannot say the same for Forest Whitaker. Also, if it's the weekend, it must be MLS time, baby! Also saw the fifth Harry Potter film today.

A FEW RANDOM thoughts before I display my ineptitude.

1. This makes me curious. Why do supermarkets have those signs on the cart corrals? You know, it says "Please Help Us Keep Our Prices Down By Returning The Cart Here". It makes no sense, because right under it the store puts the information that they cannot be held responsible for damage caused by carts. So, if they are not responsible for the damage, why would our prices have to go up if damage is done? We should be able to leave our empty cart anywhere in the lot, and it doesn't matter, because they are not responsible. The sign makes no sense.

2. Despite what he says, I think when historians look back on Dubya's time in office it won't be pretty. Outside of the Iraq fiasco, he's done a lot of other things wrong. Too much to get into today. One day, I predict Bush will make us look back fondly on Nixon's controversies.

3. Funny interaction heard today betwixt the lovely wife and Number One Son.
THE LOVELY WIFE-"Bob the Builder is a great guy, but don't be fooled. He charges a ton of money for his work."
NUMBER ONE SON-"Don't tell me that."
Made me laugh.

4. This will make you laugh, because you don't live here to understand just how sad it really is.
Near our lovely town is a small village known as Roseland. For years, Roseland's three person council was dominated by a husband and wife team that lived for publicity, no matter how bad. They were known for tossing Roseland citizens out of meetings for making noise, any noise.

Turns out the husband of the disgraceful team has two kids living in Texas with his ex-wife. Turns out the husband also never pays his child support. He owes over $100,000 and never pays, despite being a real estate agent.

Recently, he got tossed in the slammer until he paid $10,400 in child support. He found the money. Shocking, when you consider he had his real estate license revoked last year. Even more shocking when you know that his wife recently purchased a house AND a new car (remember-he doesn't have money to pay child support).

Now comes the funny part. The husband was quoted in the local newspaper after getting out of jail saying this gem that is destined to be inducted into the Stupidity Hall of Fame.
"They're stealing from the children by making me waste my money on attorneys to go to court all the time."

That's right. The guy who has to go to court for refusing to pay his child support is apparently offended that the court system is stealing money from his children by making him go to court to get the child support money.

Now that's a whole new breed of idiot right there.

Now it's time to make my annual English Premier League Predictions for the 2007/2008 season. Those who pay attention know that I'll be wrong. But I gots to do it anyway! Here's how I see the table finishing up come next May.

1. Manchester United (my club has added serious talent to a championship side, and trophy number ten in sixteen years is coming home!)
2. Chelsea
3. Liverpool
4. Arsenal
5. Newcastle United (Big Sam is the right man for the job, and the club has a lot of talent that has underperformed; I expect a big turnaround for this club with Allardyce in charge)
6. Blackburn Rovers
7. Tottenham
8. Everton
9. Manchester City (Sven is here, and spending money, but I don't see a huge change from a yo-yo club)
10. Aston Villa
11. Middlesbrough
12. Reading (a very good first year in the EPL, but I think they'll struggle this term)
13. Portsmouth
14. West Ham United
15. Bolton
16. Fulham
17. Birmingham City (I think they will survive, but just barely; last day of the season type deal)
18. Wigan Athletic (barely stayed up last season, and I think they'll barely go down next May)
19. Sunderland (I'd love to see Roy Keane keep them up, but I can't; this yo-yo club is heading down, probably by mid-April)
20. Derby County (I'd be surprised if they do better than Watford did this year; down by late March essentially)

I see Liverpool winning the FA Cup, and Arsenal taking home the Carling Cup. As for the Charity Shield (to be played tomorrow!), I see Chelsea beating Man United.

The Direct Kick challenge will return next week, seeing as how for the first time in decades I've actually posted two blogs in under a week.

Be Seeing You.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Holy Frack! It's August?

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: Got a couple mix-CD's of songs I've burned from two years ago. Good tunes. Jammin' on "Breathe" by Telepopmusik and "Afternoon Delight" by whomever sings it.

WHAT I'M READING: "The Brethren", Bob Woodward's 1979 opus on the Supreme Court. On a big Woodward kick, having read his Bush trilogy plus the two books on Nixon (All the President's Men and The Final Days) already this summer. Checked out four more, including The Brethren, from the library. After Woodward, I'm thinking of going back and reading the entire Dune Opus by Frank Herbert and his son. There's like 14 books total, so that should take the rest of the year.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: Getting movies out of the way for my "coveted" Jeff Awards (a cheap Oscar rip off by me). See, I make a list of 100 films from the year (2006 in this case). Than I watch them. After watching all 100, I work out a list of nominees. Than I pick winners. Y'see, I am totally a geek. Recent films include "Infamous" (good), "The Fountain" (a must-see), "The Good German" (okay at best), and "The Good Shepherd" (very good, but not quite great).

Outside of that, I just started "The X-Files: Season Two". And, of course, there is the Major League Soccer season in full swing. Sounds like a lot. I watch TV at night, after tucking in my family.

Can't believe it's already August. This year is flying by. Summer is going way too fast. It's been very good so far.

Number One Son Jude had his third birthday on Monday. My boy is getting bigger. He's working on the potty training. He has mastered peeing in the potty, but needs to work on the pooing. For his birthday, we got him a way-cool bunk bed. He loves it. Took to the big boy bed a lot faster than I figured. Since night one, he has gotten in, stayed in, and slept all night long. We also got him a way-cool fireman's outfit that he loves (coat, hat, hose, axe, walkie-talkie, and fire extinguisher) to wear around the house, putting out fires. Finally, we got him Bob the Builder jammies.

On Saturday, we had his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheeses' Fine Eating Establishment. I've never been there before, so it was fun. Jude loved playing the games, eating the pizza, eating his ice cream cake, and opening his gifts. A good time was had by all.

WORK STILL SUCKS...But I can live with it. I had a new job lined up, but completely forgot about the insurance issue. See, with the beautiful Queen of the Dung Heap being due to have a child on November 1st, we need to have insurance for the birth. And taking that new job wouldn't help, as pregnancy is a pre-existing condition. So I had to pass. Still looking into getting a second job, as my current job doesn't guarantee me 40 a week (sometimes 40, sometimes 36). Besides, saving a bit of money would be good for a second child.

OF COURSE, THERE WILL BE SOCCER...My fave sport. The MLS season is in full swing, with my beloved DC United starting to show that they will not be championship contenders. The Superliga kicked off last week, a nice little cup competition betwixt Major League Soccer and Mexican First Division clubs. So far, MLS is doing pretty good. Los Angeles have advanced to the semi-final, and DC looks on course to join them there. New England and Houston are hot right now, with Kansas City, Columbus, and FC Dallas right behind them. Slumping sides include New York Red Bulls and Real Salt Lake, with DC United being inconsistent.

Freddy Adu, the fourteen-year old wunderkind when he debuted with MLS in 2004, is now 18. He's also heading over to Portugal to play for Benfica. A good move for all. Adu should definitely grow under the pressure of European football, and I don't think we ever saw the real Adu talent in MLS.

Becks is here. What more could possibly be said. Yes, it's good for MLS and soccer in America. But no need to add to all the hype. His MLS debut could be this Sunday, against Toronto FC at BMO Field, the best stadium atmosphere in the league.

Speaking of overseas, the Euro leagues will be starting soon. The English Premier League kicks off on August 11th, and the Italian Serie A starts up a week later. German Bundesliga is also getting underway soon, and Spain's La Liga will start up again in September.

So it's a great time to be a fan. MLS is hitting a mid-season stride, and the European leagues are just getting started. In just a few weeks, I'll be ass deep in football around the globe.

Which means it's almost time to call up DirecTV and order the sports pack, so I can get Fox Soccer Channel (EPL, Serie A, MLS, Euro Cup, and many qualifiers) and GolTV (La Liga, Bundesliga, and South American action) again. The DVR is gonna get a work out!

THE draft is still being written. Taking a bit of time, but I want this one to be as good as possible. This will be the draft I submit out West, and also the final draft of a screenplay that I first started back in high school in the Spring of 1992.

Already mulling over ideas for my next writing projects. Hope to have at least two scripts ready for submission before the year is over.

As of August 1, 2007
Direct Kick-42

So that is 42 games watched thus far, for a Direct Kick cost of $79 for the entire season. That comes to $1.88 per game.

And there's still four months of season left! Greatest bargain in sports!

Be Seeing You.