Wednesday, January 31, 2007


The home entertainment portion of my little life here on Planet Dung (does that make me a Dung Beatle?) is undergoing a change.

My entire life I've been a cable guy. Cable has been, relatively speaking, good to ole JC. But sometimes good just ain't enough. Sometimes you want more. Like quality service. Comcast has screwed up a few times in the past with us. It seems like every August/September I've had problems with my MLS Direct Kick sports package. Heck, I've had problems getting the Comcast people on the phone to understand what MLS Direct Kick is (typical response-"Sorry, sir, but we don't carry that channel" to which I respond "It's not a channel, and I've been getting it from you for the last two years." to which they respond "Sir, it's not a channel.").

But the big screw up was when we mailed out a payment a few weeks in advance. Suddenly, we were getting "late payment" notices. My wife finally mailed a second check. Shortly after, we get the original check back in the mail from Comcast. Seems some office lackey had torn one corner when handling it, so they mailed it back to us. They charged us a late fee for their own error.

So we switched to DirecTV, which offered us more for less. Now we get DirecTV in both the living room and the master bedroom. This has led to a tiny ego in the wife, who now stands on our bed every night holding her remote aloft and shouting out like Prince Adam turning into He-Man "I have the powerrrrrrrrrrrrrr!".

As part of DirecTV, we get Setanta Sports and Fox Sports Espanol, two more soccer channels to go with Fox Soccer Channel and GolTV. I get all the soccer I can handle, and all the big leagues from around Europe and South America. Coupled with my MLS coverage on the Disney channels and Direct Kick package this spring, and I'm in football heaven!

Just this weekend, I DVRed seven exciting games:

Bundesliga-Borussia Dortmund v. Bayern Munich
Serie A-Sampdoria v. Inter Milan
La Liga-Villareal v. Real Madrid

Fox Soccer Channel:
FA Cup-Blackburn v. Luton Town

Coca Cola League One-Gillingham v. Tranmere Rovers
French Ligue 1-Lens v. Saint Etienne
Dutch Eriedivisie-Roda JC v. PSV Eindhoven

And that's just the first weekend, Dungers!

Last week we switched our phone over to AT & T. A bit more than we paid before, but worth it because we also are getting AT&T high speed internet today, replacing Comcast internet.

So some big switches, and saving roughly forty bucks a month. Suck those eggs, Comcast!

In Other News:

Snow sucks. I told you that story to tell you this one. Snow really sucks. Using the new snow thrower about two times a day to keep our walk and drive way clear of the white shit.

Woke up today with another two inches on the ground (as opposed to my wife, who woke up with ten inches in bed-heeeyyyy!). I kid, I kid. Two inches on the ground, and two degrees in the air. I walked into the breezeway and lost all site of my gens for the next week.

Terminology update:
"gens" is genitals. Pay attention, people.

So it's cold out, and snowy. Spring cannot come fast enough. Thank Buddha that January is almost over. Now we just have to make it through February and all will be good.

Plus we'll be that much closer to Mrs. JC's birthday and the start of the Major League Soccer season.

Be seeing you.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Baby, it's too damn cold outside

Some quick hits whilst sitting in a warm living room on a cold winter night.

1. First, me hates winter. Few things I can honestly use the word "hate" with, but winter is one of them. Near the top o' the chart in fact. I don't mind cold so much, as I work in freezers all day long. I do prefer the heat. I like running outside, hopping in the auto, rolling down the windows, and driving with a nice breeze in my hair. I like driving speed limit, and not inching along at ten miles per hour for fear of sliding into the cars around me. I love mowing the grass. I love waking up to sunshine. I see no real purpose for snow. None. There are many places on the planet that survive without seeing snow. So what's the point of it all?

2. Beckham is coming to America. It's good for the Los Angeles Galaxy, it's good for Major League Soccer, it's good for the MLS broadcast partners, it's good for the ticket sales, and it's good for soccer in America. Is he worth $250 million ($200 million of which comes from incentives/commission)? Yep. To get that dinero, he'll definitely have to earn it (and judging from season ticket sales after his signing league wide, he's earning it). Will he alone make soccer big in the States? Nope. But it's another positive step for MLS. MLS made many mistakes early on, but started righting the ship in 1999 when they hired Don Garber (who is THE best signing in MLS history, not Beckham). Since then, it's been baby steps to getting a soccer foothold here. That's a good thing. Try to leap too soon, and it all falls down. That's what the NASL did, and where are they now? Becks is one big step, and is a good one on the path to soccer being accepted in America as a big-time sport.

3. Manchester United again drop points on the same weekend as Chelsea. This is not a good thing. Far too often in the last month, Chelsea have dropped points and Man United has failed to capitalize. Saturday, the defending champions lost to Liverpool. United had the shot at going up by nine with a win, or seven with a tie. So what happens? They lose in stoppage time to Arsehole. Still a six point lead, but if United want to win the title in May, they need to get points when Chelsea fails to do so. I'm just worried that failing to get the points now will come back and haunt the Red Devils. Can't expect Chelsea to continue to throw points away.

4. Getting DirectTV on Wednesday. A couple of reasons for making the switch from cable (lifelong cable guy here), and one of them was the chance to finally get Setanta Sports. I've already got Fox Soccer Channel and GolTV, but have heard only rave reviews of Setanta. Time to see if it lives up to the hyperbole.

5. Hillary is going to run for Prez. My gens have a better shot at winning in 2008. I know she has a dream here, but time to be realistic. The right wing hates Hillary more than anybody ever. bin Laden would have a better shot at winning their votes. They will smear her ten times worse than Kerry, and it won't matter if it's (Beyond Belief) fact or fiction. Not to mention she's a woman, which I can't see any woman getting elected at this point in time. So she's already lost any chance at the right wing vote or the chauvenist vote. And there's no guarantee she'll get all that many liberal votes. I don't even see her winning the nomination of her party.

And really, does any of this matter right now? The freakin' primaries don't start for another year.

6. There is no number six.

7. I'm officially coining the term "Hedbergian" in honor of the late, great Mitch Hedberg. Yes, I like toast too.

That's all I got. The boy's in bed, the wife is in bath, and it's time for to rest these old bones for the night.

Be seeing you.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


...There was a blog (Common Sense Version 2.0), but I quickly forgot the password and could never update it. Soon there was a second blog (Common Sense Version 3.0, pretty original) but it became easier to avoid every day. There was a third blog (Notes from Planet Football) dedicated solely to my passion for football (soccer here in the States). But that too became easy not to bother with. With zero readers, who really cared?

Basically, three blogs died due to my sheer laziness in updating them.

But out of the ashes of those dead blogs comes this one. Dung!

With so many past failures, why try anew, you ask? Because now I'm ready to succeed. If at first you idiotically forget your password, try again. If then you simply become lazy, start two blogs at once. If those wither on the vine, well, what will one more failure hurt?

Actually, my wife started blogging, and she's good. Too damn good. I suspect ghost bloggers working round the clock in some small Asian country doing her evil bidding. I kid, I kid. But she's so darn good at it that my past failures suddenly felt embarrassing. I couldn't go down without a fight.

So I'm back, back again. Starting new in a New Year with a new blog. This one will be a combination of the two that died pathetically. I'll focus on the inane minutia of my little life and on the passion for the world's game.

And, in the grand tradition of all three dead blogs, nobody will read this one either! So I can do and say whatever I want, with no fear of complaints or agreement!

I'm giddy with the absolute power of total anonimity.

If a blog is posted in cyberspace and nobody reads it, does it make a sound?

In the weeks and months ahead, I shall be posting more regularly. If only to say to my wife, in the most immature voice ye shall ever lay ears on, "Well, my blog is updated too!"

So sit down, pull up a chair, and surf the web. Maybe, just maybe, you'll make a wrong turn and find this. I'm sure you won't read it, but maybe the title will make you chuckle as you move past.

Just so you don't think I'm a complete quitter, I do have one blog that is still out there. The little seen, completely meaningless "The Jeff Awards", detailing my own awards for film.

Now, it's time to hit the hay and forget this password too.

Be seeing you.