Interview with a Jackass

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO: The soundtrack to "There's Something About Mary", especially Danny Wilson's "Mary's Prayer" which is a nice little tune.

WHAT I'M READING: The dull McCain book still holds me captive, but luckily it's due back tomorrow so I'll be rid of it. It's like a spell, really.

WHAT I'M WATCHING: X-Files with no lights on. Euro 2008 as it heads to the quarter-finals. Plus, I got "No Country for Old Men" for Father's Day so I want to watch it soon. Way too late to be seeing last year' s Best Picture.

HOPE everybody had a great Father's Day. Mine was excellent. Morning with the boys and wife, afternoon with the in-laws up North. A wonderful dinner, some time at a brand new park, and gorgeous weather. It was good.

Today, not as such.

Had my second interview. I touched on it briefly last time, thinking it might be exciting news. But as the good book says "We may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us." See, it's with this company. First interview went well. Not great, but I'm never a great interview. But good. This time, I was more prepared than ever before. I had notes written down, questions written out. My wife did internet research on the company. I was prepared to rock this bitch.

It went downhill quickly. The lady I interviewed with last time was there, but so was some guy. Maybe her boss. Not sure. They sat me down across from both of them. He smiled and said it wasn't an interrogation. Then he spent the next forty-five minutes interrogating me. Short of the waterboarding, it was as close to Gitmo as I'll get in this lifetime.

See, somebody who once was the assistant manager at a store I worked for long ago apparently also works at this company. And apparently he didn't speak highly of me. I can only think of one real reason why, since we were always on good terms. He had been fired from that old company shortly after I left for stealing money from the cash drawers. I think maybe he didn't want me there to rat him out, as I can't believe they would have hired him if he told them what he did.

I'll break it down. At that job, I was the third shift manager. I was okay. Not great. I didn't love the job, but I did it. Unfortunately, I was caught between two bosses. One was the grocery manager, who was my direct boss. The other was the store manager, boss of all. They didn't like each other. They also constantly gave me conflicting orders. The grocery manager would tell me one thing. I'd have my guys and I do it. The store manager would get mad and tell me off. So I'd do it his way next time. The grocery manager would get mad and tell me off. I'd explain "Well, the Store Manager told me to do it this way." That would just get me chewed out, because it was his grocery department. I'd tell the store manager "Well, the Grocery Manager told me to do this" and I'd get yelled at that it was his store. No win.

After a few lies from the store manager (various, some about pay, some about shifts), I got fed up. Around Thanksgiving, I got so sick I couldn't leave the bathroom for hours. When I called off, both told me I showed a lack of commitment and was nothing but a disappointment to the company for letting my team down. That my team didn't care was beside the point. I was told to get the holiday backstock out of the backroom in two days or I'd be fired. My crew and I did it. I was proud of them. But behind my back, my assistant was being told that he'd have my job soon anyway, because they were going to find some reason to get rid of me. Nice way to run a business, huh?

So in December I put in for a job with a certain ice cream company. I got interviewed. I got the job, pending a drug test. Now, I don't do drugs. Ever. Not so much as even smoking once in my life. So I knew I would pass it. But the ice cream company told me not to put in my notice until they had an official negative drug test. So I didn't. I told my crew, but nobody else. Being the holiday season, it took an abnormally long time to get that drug test result back.

During that long wait, the store manager decided to demote me. Now, they gave me a few different reasons, all of which were not quite accurate. For example, in order to shut up the whining one night, I told my crew that possibly if we did job A, we wouldn't have to do job B. I planned to do both, but at four in the morning you say a lot of things to shut up whining and get guys working. We did job A. It was close to the end of the shift. We were told we could leave before finishing job B.

Now, in the demotion meeting, it became a little less positive. They claimed I had told my crew that we would do job A and leave job B for the day crew. Not what I said. Especially when you consider we actually started job B and were told to leave before finishing it. But they didn't let those facts get in the way. With a little spin, they had an excuse.

So, I was demoted before I could turn in my two weeks notice for the job I already had lined up. And it pissed me off that I couldn't just tell them I'm leaving, but the ice cream company told me not to. Not four days after my demotion, the result came back and I was allowed to put in my notice. Remember all that, because it's important.

I bored you with that to finish this:

Apparently the assistant who had been fired told them about my demotion. But he told them I was demoted, and only after that did I apply for and get the ice cream job. Basically, he told them I only left that company due to my demotion.

So right off the bat during my interview (with a Jackass), the Jackass begins questioning me. Not outright calling me a liar, but slyly alluding to it. He starts like this: "Did you know Assistant Manager now works here? Okay, this interview is not an interrogation, we just want to make sure we hire the right person. Somebody who turned in a accurate resume and application."

So they ask me about my work history. What I did before, what I do now. Usual stuff. But quickly, Jackass starts asking why I left the last company for the ice cream crew. At first, I don't want to sound negative, or like I'm bashing. So I allude to conflicts in personality with management. But he pushes. So I tell him a few things that happened to explain why I left, but tried to candy coat it as more wanting to explore a new opportunity (which was true-I was leaving for more money, better hours, and more chances to grow professionally). But it wasn't good enough. Jackass kept coming back with "Well, I can understand that, kind of. But even that isn't enough to convince me that you left a company after fourteen years just for that. What I want to know is what's the real reason."

I was frustrated internally. It kept coming back to the reason. I wanted an opportunity and the conflict of personality. It was the truth. But Jackass wasn't buying it because they were told different. So finally I said it plainly: "Look, I applied for and got the job with the ice cream company in early December. I couldn't put in my two weeks until the drug test came back. I knew it would come back negative, but couldn't put in my two weeks until it came back. Days before it came back, I was demoted as I said. Once it came back, I put in my two weeks."

Jackass started to tell me that I must have left because of the demotion. It wasn't about the opportunity, but the demotion. "So you get demoted, then find this new job."

"No. I had the job before I was demoted."

"Did they know this?"

"No, Ice Cream asked me to say nothing until the drug test came back."

"Was there concern about the drug test result?"

"No. I've never done any drugs. But until it officially came back, I couldn't say anything."

"So what I'm hearing is you get demoted, than there's this other job and you leave."

"I had the ice cream job lined up weeks before the demotion."

"But they didn't know that. So you got demoted and left. That's why you left the company after fourteen years."

"Let me explain it. I wanted a new opportunity. I applied with the ice cream company early in December. I got that job by mid-December. I had to wait on my drug..."

"I heard you about the test. But what I'm looking at here is you didn't mention that you left the company because of the demotion on your application with us. You put down you wanted a new opportunity, but there's nothing about the demotion causing you to leave."

"Because I left for the opportunity. The demotion came after I had the job."

"But you didn't put in a two weeks notice. Did you even give them two weeks?"

"Yes, of course. I left on very good terms."

"Did you? After the demotion?"

"I would have been leaving anyway."

"But you didn't have this drug test back. So why not just tell them before they demote you?"

"Until the ice cream company had the official report back, they asked me to remain silent about leaving."

"I don't understand that. If I'm leaving for a better opportunity, I would tell somebody. To leave after a demotion and say that wasn't the reason doesn't really make sense to me."

At which point, I knew it wasn't looking good. So I laid it out (calmly). "It would have been great to just say here's my two weeks before they demoted me, but I was asked not to by the ice cream company."

"Okay, all right. So there's that discrepancy on the application. That's what we'd heard." After a second of shuffling papers. "Any questions for us?"

Now, I had come in with over fifteen questions. I had major doubts about getting the job after the whole reason for leaving debacle. But I thought this might be a chance to redeem myself. Maybe nudge open the door again.

So I asked two questions. Jackass quickly answers them in the most generic way possible. Then he says "One last question. Give me your best one."

So I ask my grand finale question. And he takes roughly three seconds to answer before jumping up and giving me the "We'll be in touch next week if we want to have a final interview".

So I leave pissed off. Because I didn't lie on the resume. I didn't lie during the interview. I stuck with the facts about the whole thing, but Jackass didn't care. He had been told something by the Assistant who stole money and believed it no matter what.

Pissed at myself for sitting there letting them interrogate me like that. Well, letting him. The lady who did the first interview never spoke and rarely even looked at me. Not sure if she felt bad that I was put through this or thought I was such a lying pig that I didn't deserve to be looked at. But I've got a good job now, so I wouldn't have been doing any more damage than had already been done, so I should have told them that nobody calls me a liar and walked out. But I sat there and took it for forty minutes.

Pissed that a excellent job opportunity was gone over a bullshit lie. Besides a step up the ladder with a growing company (different from my current employer), the pay is almost double what I make now. I could do the job described to me in the first interview with my eyes closed. And I would be damn good at it.

But that's all gone now, because somebody I haven't even spoken to in three years decided to trash me, and his word is apparently better than mine.

So it wasn't a great day.

It usually takes a lot to piss me off, but today it happened. And what was a good shot at a great job just eight days ago is now a bad memory to share with people who ask "How'd that interview go?"

Be seeing you.